Community//

The Identity Shift You Must Make Before Changing Your External World

You're NOT just the fat friend, the mom of 4, or any other label you put on yourself and until you remove it, you'll be stuck there. Let's change that.

“I’m the fat friend”

“I have no self control”

“I’m a mom of 4”

“I’m not a morning person”

It’s all the same. It’s how you identify, and the labels are endless. It’s normal to feel like this is your reality, because for however long… it HAS been; this meaning It’s been the most prominent part of your life.

When going through or attempting any type of external change, be it fitness, career, relational to others, or anything else, you will have to shift your internal identity along with your external identity.

Why?

Ever experienced a scenario similar to this?

You find that you JUST CAN’T stay consistent with your diet, even though you’re working out hard. You drink on the weekends, and kind of say, “Screw it,” right? You’re sabotaging your efforts and cannot figure.it.out.

Typically, when someone hits a wall over and over, but can’t understand why they’re sabotaging themselves, there needs to be an identity shift.

What does identity have to do with this?

We identify with what we’re comfortable doing/being. “I’m Lindsey and I’m a fitness coach,” is a hell of a lot different from, “I’m Lindsey and I’m an entrepreneur who focuses on empowering women to gain unshakable confidence by facilitating events that allow women to SHOW UP and work on themselves, and by coaching clients through their fitness goals.”

It’s a much longer explanation, yes, but the latter forces me to step into that role… See the difference?

Similarly, if you identify as the fat friend in your mind, you’ll act in accordance with that identity EVEN IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE and are trying to do so.

Okay, so HOW?

Everyone’s process will be different, but what I’ve identified as a pattern is the following:

  1. Identify the shift that has to happen (Mom of 4 to Sally who is fit AF and puts time and effort into her health not only for herself, but for her little ones).
  2. Start shifting the way you talk about yourself (quietly and aloud)
  3. Start intentionally envisioning yourself as that new version of yourself before you start your day and before you go to bed (What would fit Sally do today, how would she act, etc etc)
  4. Keep doing.the.work. You can’t shift an identity if your behavior isn’t following. Ideally, the identity shift makes it easier to commit to the work, but it doesn’t make the WORK itself easier. Go all in and commit to the beautiful process.
  5. Focus until your transformation is complete. Then keep improving in different ways. The initial journey is JUST THE BEGINNING.

That’s all for now.

If you need help with the WORK portion of this AND the internal process excites you, please do contact me. This is what I live for, and I would love to help you.

To everyone else, get on it, gf!

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

curvy happy friends
Community//

Why You Don’t Really Need to Lose Weight

by Lucie Villeneuve
Community//

Simple, Healthy Steps to Maximum Weight Loss in a Hurry

by Donna Wild
Wisdom//

Attention All Women…Your Scale is Being Recalled!

by Dr. Beth Westie

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.