It is so much easier to not take things personally with someone you aren’t close to. The lack of a close relationship helps you to keep your perspective and not make it about you. However, with people that you are close with, it can be hard to see the big picture and not feel hurt by their behavior even over insignificant things like dishes left in the sink. Angus uses a video game metaphor to point to what helps to have more inner stability. When you realize you are the gamer and not the game, it is easier to be in the game of life with less emotional upset. The gamer stance represents the impersonal. When we see we are the ones making it up, it helps us to be in the game of the personal with more grace and peace. And even if we can’t see it at the time, when we feel hurt by the behavior of a loved one, we can use our feelings as a reminder that we have temporarily forgotten who we are. And we can take action that will help us to remember to come home within ourselves.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “the Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the free ebook Relationships, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also subscribe to Rohini’s weekly blog that includes their weekly Vlog on her website, rohiniross.com.