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The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating & Relationships

The lessons I've learned

Now, there’s no real right or wrong answer for this topic. But, I definitely want to share with you my Dos and Don’ts of dating, and what I learned about myself and women throughout the process and am still currently learning. They are simple and short, but good lessons to follow that I learned the hard way and am still learning.

1.) DO ask questions

This goes for in the early stage of a relationship and once you’ve been in a relationship for quite some time. In the past I struggled with this when it came to simply asking questions. It became more about me and not about the other person. I sometimes got too focused and myself and my needs, which is good, but always remember you go into a relationship to give and support one another. Always ask questions, be curious and interested in your partners life.

2.) DON’T go to bed angry at each other.

This goes for those of you that have been in a serious relationship and spend a good amount of time with each other. Don’t go to bed angry at each other even if it means staying up all night and resolving the problem at hand. I remember letting days and weeks go by and I wouldn’t bring something up with my past girlfriends. Bring whatever is up that’s on your mind even if it feels uncomfortable.

3.) DO listen

Listen to each other. I can’t tell you the amount of times a past girlfriend has said to me, “Will are you even listening to me?” I know many of you’re probably laughing right now, but it’s true. Give your partner your undivided attention when you’re talking. It will enable you both to connect with each other. For the longest time I had trouble with just connecting with people. I still struggle with it today, and it always relates back to me not being able to listen. Work on it.

4.) DON’T be rude on a first date

This is pretty obvious, although I have been on first dates with women that have been kind of rude (yes I know) and have heard many stories from others as well. But, be respectful, even if you don’t think you want to see this person again. Being respectful of each other goes a long way even you both decide you don’t want to move forward.

5.) DO talk about finances

I wrote about this in my previous article, but talk about finances once you get serious with someone. Yes, it’s probably going to be uncomfortable at first but you’ll work through it. Do I pay for this? Does she pay for this? But, I’m the man (in society the man always pays). Questions you might ask yourself that are totally not true, but if you don’t talk about it with your significant other it will just be brushed under the rug.

6.) DON’T talk behind each others back

Honestly, I did this when I was in past relationships. And I realized it was my insecurities speaking in the relationship. I was afraid to lose the girl and needed to make something up in my head to justify what she was doing. It only leads down a bad path once you start disrespecting your partner and talking behind their back.

7.) DO bring up exes

I remember when I was in college I typically avoided talking about exes with whoever I was with at the moment. I didn’t like bringing up my past, but I realized that it was that I properly never healed and talked about it with someone. It’s very healthy to talk about your past with your current partner. Talk about them in a positive note though. Don’t ever bash your ex. Talk about what you learned about the other person and yourself and how much you’ve grown from the experience.

8.) DON’T play the blame game

This relates slightly to the 6th point I made of talking behind each other’s back. But, don’t play the blame game. Don’t blame your partner for the way you are or the way your finances are, etc. I am this way because of you. I used to say those words and I have had them said to me as well. But, talk things out first. When you start blaming your partner for all your mishaps and issues going on in your life you’re just escaping the pain or ownership of dealing with them yourself. Think before you talk and always ask your partner for your support!!

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