The Dangers Of Being Neurodiverse In A Neurotypical World

Photo by Fernando @cferdo on Unsplash My son’s ADHD means that he doesn’t navigate the world in the same way as neurotypicals. I am the parent of a young adult with the ‘hidden disability’. While my son looks physically normal, his executive functioning is impaired, he struggles with emotional regulation, and his impulsivity attracts him to the sort […]

Photo by Fernando @cferdo on Unsplash

My son's ADHD means that he doesn't navigate the world in the same way as neurotypicals.

I am the parent of a young adult with the ‘hidden disability’. While my son looks physically normal, his executive functioning is impaired, he struggles with emotional regulation, and his impulsivity attracts him to the sort of reckless behavior most parents’ dread. His ADHD means that he doesn’t navigate the world in the same way as neurotypicals.

We have had more dealings with the police than I care to remember.

Additude Magazine pointed out recently that ‘people with the condition process information more slowly, and there is more “noise” during their processing.’ That means that while there are many aspects of my son’s “difference” that are wonderful – his musicality, his humor, and intuition – we have had more dealings with the police than I care to share with my peers. His driver’s license has been taken away from him on several occasions for speeding - a tough stance by NSW Roads and Maritime Services here in Australia that I am grateful for - and during his school years, it was suggested on more than one occasion that he might fare better somewhere else (!).

I have grave concerns for my son’s safety.

Understandably, with my acute awareness of the “school to prison pipeline” and the appalling statistics that up to 50% of the male prison population may have ADHD, I have grave concerns for my son’s safety on the frontline of care and the law. It is a problem that Australian author Kate Wild highlighted in her book, “Waiting For Elijah” - the true account of Elijah Holcombe, a young man suffering from depression who was shot dead by the police whilst in a delusional state due to a series of communication errors.

According to an article on the ABC recently, 50% of the people shot dead in NSW in Australia suffer from a mental illness, so it is not really surprising that the families and carers of these people share Kate’s concern.

The spectrum for these disorders is vast.

People with ASD, ADHD, and other mental health conditions are for the main part stereotyped by the media. While it was easy to fall in love with the quirkiness of "Rainman" and the vulnerability of Pat Solitano in Silver Linings Playbook, we need to remember that the spectrum for these disorders is vast. When these people feel threatened, misunderstood or have compromised executive functioning and communication skills, their behavior is easily misinterpreted by neurotypicals.

To corroborate this, I asked Terra Vance, an IO psychology consultant and author of “Apologetically Aspie,” (a blog at PsychCentral), to explain some general behavioral differences between the neurodivergent and neurotypicals that may provoke a fight or flight response to common stimuli, such as violence, verbal assault, bright lights, loud noises and touch.

She qualified that, ‘Most autistic people have much more acute sensory awareness than neurotypicals. In distress, they may become mute and increase self-stimulatory behaviors, or stimming, which may manifest itself as rocking or flapping their arms; many describe having altered hearing, visual perception and mental clarity, similar to a night terror; many blackout during a meltdown. These behaviors can be mistakenly interpreted as threatening or an indication that they are under the influence of drugs, which may lead to a wrongful arrest, abuse or even tasering if their response is thought to be disrespectful.’

She goes on to add that, ‘Overstimulation can make sights and sounds so unbearable that it is worse than physical pain.’

So how can we improve communication with this group of people?

Funding - is the short answer, to improve accommodation and shelter for those in need of help, as well as education and training to first responders. I have always believed that education in regard to any form of discrimination should start at home and in the classroom, but sadly, that cannot be guaranteed.

As one primary school teacher, Verity Davis-Raiss, says, ‘Every year we find more and more children presenting with ASD and ADHD. We, as educators, obviously need more training in this area, especially as we are required to differentiate our programs to ensure that every child reaches their personal best. Every student deserves to feel happy and safe in his or her learning environment. Without support and guidance, how are we going to ensure we reach these goals in classes of 30 students or more?’

Let's not forget that it is not only the neurodiverse kids that can benefit from an inclusive education; neurotypical children learn a lot about empathy by working alongside a child with special needs. However, children can be cruel, so it is important not to shine too bright a light on these kids’ disabilities. My son has never forgiven me for adding his name to the list of children requiring special provisions for an exam, for which he was singled out in front of the entire school and this problem was highlighted in a recent study in the Journal of Psychiatry and Cognitive Behaviour, called “Just Being A Kid, Or An ADHD Kid?”

Training - At the end of Elijah’s story, Kate Wild mentions improvements to police training that have been affected since the rise of such deaths. With the increase in drug use and depression, it is often inexperienced police officers that find themselves on the front line of crime, but they are now being taught to develop a rapport with “offenders,” rather than use force. Simple changes to their approach such as these may mean the difference between life and death.

Reducing the stigma – this needs to be addressed in relation to the mentally ill. My son was nicknamed SPED at school, and as a parent trying to advocate for him, I was continually subjected to eye rolls from educators and other parents about a condition that has been verified repeatedly by research and is included in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders.

Medical first responders are taught to treat patients who present with a physical illness with respect and empathy, and the same approach needs to be adopted for the mentally ill.

Breaking down the misconceptions

For a marginalized group that is often (mistakenly) judged for its lack of empathy, these people are at the mercy of our own limited resources of empathy, even though many of them embrace their own “difference."  As Terra says, “These individuals have so much to offer society, but we have to break down misconceptions and stigmas." Sadly, that can only be achieved by increasing awareness of ASD and ADHD in the same way as we have for other mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety.

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Thrive on Campus//

Breaking the Stigma Within the POC Community

by Anonymous
Thrive on Campus//

Life as a Graduate Student with PTSD: Part 2

by Michelle DiMuria

Human-To-Human Contact Is More Valuable Than A Text

by Stephen J. Cloobeck

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.