I was asked recently about how perimenopause symptoms made me feel. When I felt into this question, I realised there were layers of shame and grief.
Youth is so valued in our society that it’s hard not to feel fearful of ageing.
Noticing hot flushes, stubborn belly fat around the middle, joint aches and other changes can be demoralising when there is so much pressure to appear young. Being told that you look younger than your age is considered a compliment, as if something is wrong with getting older.
Even the words ‘middle-aged’ hold connotations of being frumpy, boring and unattractive. It’s only natural under these circumstances, that we should grieve our youth and want to hold onto a certain self image.
There can be a desire to hold onto our ‘old selves’ – to wish we had the same body and skin as we did 10 or 20 years ago or to look back at old photos thinking we look better then.
It can feel like our bodies are failing us when we can’t do things like get into the same yoga poses or run as fast as we used to. Grief emerges for the old self being left behind.
Feel into your heart
Acknowledge this, allow yourself to feel it, feel compassion for who you are, for everything you’ve been through, the lessons, the hardships and the joy. The entirety of your life is so precious, amazing and beautiful.
Deeply feeling into my heart, I felt other layers emerge:
– Curiosity about my body and how it is changing
– Desire to support myself and give my body what it needs
– Compassion for myself and my emotions
– Gratitude for my precious body and life
– Deep acceptance of myself as the woman and human I am
– A new opportunity love and nurture myself even more
This is the unfolding of another new stage – just like puberty, pregnancy and motherhood were. My body has gone through so many transformations – each one inviting new levels of self-acceptance.
Feel into your heart. Send yourself deep love. Ask yourself what you need. How can you best nurture and care for your body exactly as it is now?
I’m so grateful for the perspective that practicing mindfulness has given me. If you want to learn more please join me for this free online masterclass I’m holding on Monday.