I grew up in a very competitive household. As soon as I started walking my mother put me in skates and was determined to make me ”someone”. Then after that was 4 years of ballroom dancing followed by 5 years of martial arts. On the outside, it seemed like I was an aspiring athlete striving for greatness but in truth, I suffered from anxiety and depression, I hated myself and had no idea why. The more I achieved, the more was demanded. Never enough!
I never wanted to be an athlete, I wanted to paint, act and create. My whole family is very creative, we have architects, painters, actors, musicians. So it was natural that I was born with curiosity and passion for the arts. Now I don’t know why, but I was steered away from it. I heard things like ”you are not talented enough to make money. You cant make money from art.” Or simply ”shut up and do as I say”. And I believed it! I told myself how bad I was, how untalented and unworthy I am.
After my family relocated to Northern Ireland I started college and my world got turned upside down. I decided to go against my families wishes and signed up for art classes. It felt like I could breathe again. I fell in love with textile work and discovered I had a talent for hand knitting.
Discovering a passion for knitting was a complete surprise to me. I learned that knitting can be a great tool for meditation. It reduces anxiety and counting stitches helps you reduce stress. This was a huge surprise to me because it was something I absolutely hated doing when I was a child.
By using knitting as a form of meditation it helped me express myself in a whole new way. Through meditation came clarity and I realized instead of running from my past I should embrace it and learn from it.
This was the moment when I realized I can move forward and embrace the change or turn back and be defined by my past.
My grandfather once told me ” Going against the river just makes you tired. Surrendering to the current will get you there faster”. And so I did.
Surrendering myself to the change helped me create something beautiful – Ev. To me, Ev became not just a brand that creates bespoke hand knitwear designs but it became a leader. Someone who stands up for women, makes them feel strong and independent, someone to look up to.
Through my brand, I learned who I am and who I want to be in the future. I learned that you do not have to sacrifice your own happiness in order to achieve great goals. “Don’t try to please everyone because some people are born with a hole in their hearts that no one and nothing can fill”. Most importantly be true to who you are. Time brings patience and a mature attitude to the next chapter. It can sometimes take decades, along with living in a few different countries and hell of a lot of mistakes to find where you belong. It’s all about weathering the storm to see the beauty. Learn from life, Embrace the hardships and create something that makes you happy to be who you really are.