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The Art of Happiness – Learning to Love Yourself

"Being happy is something that each of us determines, it is not something that we find outside of yourself, it is within us and our choice" - Catherine Pulsifer

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Love Yourself
Tyler Nix / Unsplash

What is happiness and where do you find it?

Many people around the world define happiness in different ways based on their thoughts, surroundings, values, experiences, etc. For example, a rich person might believe that they are happy when they achieve fame, money, and success through materialistic things. Whereas a poor person believes that happiness is when they get a good lifestyle with proper home, food, water, education, etc. Yes, these things definitely make us instantly happy and we think we’ve become successful in life but ask yourself this: Are you TRULY happy with yourself? Are you living your best life? Do you feel fulfilled?

Well, if your answer is no then I think it is time to self-reflect on what happiness really is. Happiness is a combination of our thoughts and experiences and as well as our physical, emotional, and mental health. We all tend to take good care of our physical health with fitness and a good diet but we all forget that mental/emotional health plays a significant role in our lives for us to attain happiness, peace, and success in our lives. We have to realize that happiness is just within ourselves and in our mindset and not with other people. We’ve all been searching for it outside that we forgot to look at our internal thoughts.

It’s very important to learn how to love yourself first before you love and show appreciation to others. Here are some ways to love yourself unconditionally:

1. Adopt the growth mindset

Try to gradually alter your thoughts and adopt the growth mindset rather than the fixed mindset. Start to focus on personal growth and self-improvement by committing to improving yourself in every facet of your life including career, mental, physical health, financial, etc. Take baby steps when dedicating yourself to this shift in mindset as it does take time and patience and doesn’t happen overnight. Reflect on your strengths and keep improving them. Analyze your mistakes and learn from over time as lessons are stepping stones to success. Be open-minded and keep learning something new every day. Keep striving to acknowledge your talents, skills, best traits and develop yourself to become a better version of yourself each day. 

2. Embrace your imperfections

This is a very important step to loving yourself. Embrace your imperfections and flaws and accept that there is no such thing as a perfect person. We all have to come out of the perfectionism image and start to accept that everyone is unique in their own ways and everyone has some weakness in certain areas. We should keep it a habit to learn from other people’s strengths and help and find a solution to their weaknesses. Celebrate your quirks so that you can start loving yourself for who you because that’s what makes you stand out from others.

3. Know your self-worth

As you start to self-reflect on who you are, you will soon realize your self-worth in your life. Be strong in your values and never settle for less than you deserve. Set high standards for yourself but at the same time, don’t have unrealistic expectations of others either. Once you know your self-worth, you start to attract true friends and people who align with your values. Never chase after anyone and walk away from someone even if it’s really hard if they don’t reciprocate your love and affection or make you feel inferior. Surround yourself with people who love and value you for who you are! Always remember that you are good enough, you are strong, and beautiful just the way you are!

4. You are your competition

In this society and generation, I know it’s easy to compare yourself to your friends, cousins, etc but please don’t think that their lives are better than yours or they are more successful than you. Reality is different and everyone is going through struggles and hardships in life that you know nothing about. Everyone is at their own pace and has their own timeline and so do you. Instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were before. Your present self should be better than the person you were 5 years ago. Compete with yourself and strive to bettering yourself and habits each day by focusing on the growth mindset to get you towards the right path to success.

Self-love is just a simple yet effective concept and is all about changing your mindset and appreciating the small things in life such as love, affection, gratitude, happiness etc. It really takes time and patience and but trust me, you will end up being where you need to be and you will soon unravel your purpose in life!

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