So you’re wondering why you’re attracted to the same type of person, when it keeps not working out…or you’ve been with the same person for a while but you keep running into the same problems or arguments, without permanent resolution of those issues.
What’s going on?
There are three main spiritual reasons why we’re attracted to the people that we’re attracted to – and when you understand these reasons, it can untangle the confusing web of why the same things keep repeating in your love life.
Spiritual Reason #1
You’re in his/her life to help them heal. They’re in your life to help you heal. This means that all of your childhood issues, sibling problems, parent trauma, adolescent pain, past romantic heartbreak…all of it…is going to come up to be healed in your most significant love relationship. So if you felt ignored when you were a child – your lover will eventually, at some point, trigger feelings of being ignored or neglected. If you have unresolved feelings or trauma from a past love relationship, your new relationship will repeat some of those issues until you’ve resolved them.
How do you resolve old issues? Good question. I’ll address that at the end of this article. The general idea is that when you accept that mutual healing is part of the gift of love relationships, then you greet these issues with a higher level of understanding – rather than the upset & fear that triggers can typically bring up. It’s not personal, it’s just informing you that you still have some unhealed stuff to clear.
Getting triggered? Say thank you! You’re being made aware of something that your loved one is going to help you heal. Better to have the trigger come up to be healed, than allowed to continue to drain your energy under the surface, while your subconscious holds it in place. This is the foundation of a spiritual partnership: becoming each other’s healing partner.
Spiritual Reason #2
You have a karmic, past life issue to handle with this person.
Of course, not everyone believes that we’ve had past lives (which are all happening at the same time, by the way, but that’s a different post – lol) and I get that. It doesn’t matter if you look at it like another lifetime or a metaphor, it’s still helpful information.
So that said, speaking as if these are past lives, but recognizing other possibilities…Many times a past life experience with someone that was left unresolved or unbalanced can cause repetitive issues in this lifetime, especially in love relationships.
When you feel like you’ve known someone forever, but you just met…or you have that instant recognition of someone’s voice, laugh, or feelings around them, that’s a clue that you’re meeting someone you’ve known before. Unresolved past life issues can look like power struggles, hurting people repeatedly when we really don’t mean to, commitment issues, competition, intense magnetism, etc.
Clearing up past life issues isn’t as complicated as it might sound; a lot of times just learning about what the pattern potentially could’ve been in the other time, releases the “hold” that the issue had on the relationship.
Spiritual Reason #3
You haven’t accepted who you are spiritually and what you’re here to do. When something happens in your relationship and it’s a recurring hurtful pattern – ask yourself these questions:
1. What would the demonstrations of self-respect and self-love look like in this situation?
2. If I were doing exactly what I was divinely designed to do here, what would it be?
3. What is my overall feeling here? (powerlessness, fear, overwhelm, etc)
Take your answers from question #3, and turn it around. For example:
If you answered that your overall feeling was powerlessness, here’s your declaration:
”I am here in this life to feel powerful, I am powerful, and I allow myself to know where I have personal power in this situation.”
(Note: this is personal power we’re talking about here, empowerment…not ego-type power that would be at the expense of another, of course.)
Declarations may seem too simple to have any affect, but the energy of the words combined with your strong conviction when saying it, creates a shift in energy that you can build on. Write it down where you’ll see it several times per day, to imprint the new energy on the subconscious.
If you answered that your overall feeling was fear, here’s yours:
”I am here in this life to feel safe and strong, I am safe and strong, and I allow myself to know how to create safety in this situation.”
You get the idea.
How do you begin to resolve old issues?
There are many ways, but to name a few: talk therapy (gotta love therapy), energy healing, EFT tapping, clearings, activations, consultations with an intuitive healer, meditation, hypnosis, journaling, etc.
Truly, it doesn’t really matter how you address it, just that you approach it with the idea that these issues come up because you need it, your soul wants it, and you are designed to grow from it. Not because you have bad luck or bad taste or terrible judgment or are just bad in relationships; but truly because you’re on the planet to heal yourself and others, to resolve your past life issues, and to realize who you really are spiritually; remembering your true nature, your Original Divine Blueprint…all good reasons!