At 6:00am, the alarm blares and scares the living hell out of me. I’m a stay at home mom. I don’t do alarms. OK, this is stupid, I conclude. I’m exhausted and could be asleep right now. I mean, she is still asleep. Why in the hell am I doing this? No. Just no. SNOOZE.
My snooze expires and the alarm shrieks again. This time I force myself out of bed and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while. I’m a zombie (the zombie that typically greets my daughter every morning-the zombie that wakes up mere moments before entering her room). But in less than two minutes, the fog lifts. I am up. Getting out of bed was the hardest part. As my sister once coached me, “You just have to get your feet on the floor.”
I make coffee, check my email and cruise social media. I put together my grocery list and pay a couple of bills online. I work out, shower and just finish making my daughter’s breakfast when I hear singing through her monitor. Yep. I accomplished all of the above before my daughter even woke up- checked off all of the items that would admittedly be done in my daughter’s presence, but today they won’t be. Today, I’ll be locked in with my daughter.
I scoop her out of her crib, undistracted and awake. I consciously note how much better I am without a workout or house chores looming over me. I mean, what if I had gotten up at 5:00? (note: I will never get up at 5:00). Who knows what else might have been accomplished? This feels GREAT. I just set a whole new tone for my (our) day. I am present with my daughter and I’m much more fun. I’m not thinking about about when I can sneak in a workout or empty the dishwasher (which can’t be done in my toddler’s presence because I value her limbs too much and she gets all up in there).
A few hours later, I lay her down for her nap and it hits me that this would be the time I would typically work out- but it’s done. I have so much time on my hands! I decide to organize my pots and pans, mop the floor and change out some lightbulbs. I even descale the Keurig (which has been put off for longer than what is probably safe). Today, I am SUPERMOM and it’s all because I gave myself an extra 90 minutes.
I did not think this would be for me. I choose sleep over everything. Everything. I questioned how I could ever forgo an extra hour of precious sleep when I didn’t have to. But, today I actually have more energy than I do when I sleep in until the moment my daughter does.
Today, I didn’t just set an alarm. I set the tone for my entire day…and I mommed SO hard.