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That Survival Thing I Have, It’s Called GRIT

How much GRIT do you have?

Photo by h heyerlein on Unsplash

Grit-courage and resolve; strength of character:

My life is a kaleidoscope of movements, experiences, and emotions. I once hated my life so deeply that it drew me into a depth of despair that very few have ever been low enough to fully and truly understand. I’ve also loved my life to the heights of floating on ethereal clouds of ecstasy while grounded in my own mortal flesh. Sometimes, I go in-between the two mental spaces as I wrestle with memory of what was and the reality of what is.

Grit enhances the steadfast endurance that propels me through the darkest nights that eventually deliver me to the comforting glow of morning’s light. The time spent in isolation is where I can break, shatter, and emotionally or spiritually wither to become reborn each day. It is through sheer GRIT and WILL that I can re-align, rally against the darkness of my mind and continue to THRIVE the best way that I know how.

The choice to give up or continue to move forward, despite any and all challenges, is mine and mine alone. After many of these moments, I choose to go deeper and higher into this thing that I call my life. Every day I work towards my goals so that I am farther away from the inky darkness where I once chose to merely exist. And, each day, I choose to become more at home right where I am, not out there, but in here, in my own soul and my own space. I then go “out there-in the world” and choose, over and over again, to operate in love, at a higher vibration so that I can help others in recovery. I choose to surrender to my mind and use it for good and not to subconsciously destroy myself. I continually turn my fears over to God in hopes that goodness will prevail, not only in my life, but in the lives of all who are still suffering.

GRIT in Action-Strong, Tender, Determined

I touch my skin, hold myself, and make peace with every gritty mistake I had ever made. I’ve examined the value and equity gained from my errors in judgement. Gritty fact-I am not, nor will I ever be perfect, but I do seek to embrace the wild side that occasionally pushes mental buttons which can temporarily eject consciousness allowing ‘The Mad Hatter’ to be left in charge. I choose to let go of all the mistakes that once held the key to my self-imposed prison. If I become intimate with my mistakes and embrace the consequences of my actions, they simply cannot linger in my head-space like the stench of a cheap, overpowering perfume of my past.

Grit allows me to weep for all that I have lost and celebrate all that I have gained. Grit allows me to be brave enough to explore caverns of my mind where I have dared to enter because the gate keepers and the trolls told me that it is not safe to wander alone.  I have to leap into the unknown knowing I have a unlimited supply of grit and a net to catch me if I should plunge deeper into the free fall of fear. Grit says goodbye to thinking that says a gentle mind isn’t possible for someone like me-the survivor of trauma. 

A miracle can only be birthed when the illusion of rescue or comfort is destroyed by an event that is not explained by natural or scientific laws. Grit says that indeed I am the miracle because I have not only survived, I have found my purpose through the process that proves I AM the unexplained. 

I am a soul in recovery whose only passion is to change the world with my GRIT!

My passion is to share my truth to connect with others who haven’t found their voice yet!

Grit-courage and resolve; strength of character

❤ With all my love. You are NOT alone ❤

Rebecca L. Edwards

SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE WHO IS STRUGGLING IN LIFE DUE TO CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE, TRAUMA AND ADDICTION. TOGETHER WE CAN RAISE AWARENESS FOR HELP! WE ARE ALL ONE!

Follow me and read more of my words on Medium, Facebook, Twitter and on my personal website www.rebeccaledwards.com

Originally published at www.rebeccaledwards.com.

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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