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Dear Rejectors, Thank you…

Thank you to all my rejectors: the people who chose to reject my opinion, presence, or worthiness.

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Thank you to all my rejectors: the people who chose to reject my opinion, presence, or worthiness.

Growing up, we all struggle with our issues, no matter how great of a family we have; we eventually realize that we aren’t the center of the universe. It starts with something dumb like asking your mom for ice cream or to go for a sleepover or even to get a pet, and she simply replies with a “No.”

Your heart breaks, and you feel rejected. This beautiful creature that gave birth to you and is supposed to love you unconditionally has officially rejected your request.Then you go to school, and your ego tells you that everyone will love and accept you for who you are; but reality slaps you in the face, and by 3rd or 4th grade, self-esteem issues start creeping up. You thought you were flawlessly created, but obviously, you weren’t; if people can reject your needs, opinions and, your existence- then you are totally unworthy of love. This inexplicable feeling of nothingness sticks around and greets you at every corner of your life.

Life goes on.

Some days, you are stuck in the quicksand of life, you can’t move forward, you feel alone, and your unworthiness is reinforced.
While other times you fly high, feel unbeatable, and life seems perfect; but then a rejector will enter your life in the form of a friend, family member, coworker, spouse, lover, etc. that won’t reciprocate your love- and you spiral downwards.

You cry you curse, you hate, and you resent, and hope the rejector burns in hell and is never happy again. Everything your heart desires should become yours(because you deserve it) including money, a perfect significant other, a job that is genuinely fulfilling, an ideal body and a beautiful face, mind, and heart that is always at peace and authentic.

But why should you get everything and not struggle to achieve it? Like every other living being on this earth, you are trying to achieve the perfect balance in life. Even animals seek to “survive” in a fulfilling environment.

As I grow older and live more, I realize the truth is that no one rejects the other. We feel the rejection because we expect other imperfect beings to fulfill us, and behave in a way that works in our favor and to give up their own path. The reality is that when we start our life, we are fragmented creatures. The voyage in life entails that we become complete and whole enough, so the need to rely on someone else for our own inner peace- just vanishes. Some people can reach that state, while others die without it. And so to expect another undeveloped passenger of life to leave their journey and fix yours; is not possible. Everyone is trying to maneuver their own steering wheel, and won’t take their hands off to steer yours.

What a rejector has taught me is that- only my acceptance is necessary. When I am excessively upset because of others, I am also rejecting myself. And if I chose to deny and reject myself, how will I ever become whole enough to fulfill my own path.

So instead of being angry at my rejectors, I thank them because they make me realize that they are as incomplete as I am, and that I will never fulfill my own destiny if I accept others but reject myself.

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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