Good morning, my beloved readers,
Today the day is beautiful and the coffee I’m savoring is exquisite. I have two daughters and the youngest is in her senior year of high school, about to enter college. The challenges are continuous. I live very proud of the achievements of my two daughters. However, sometimes the exchange with my younger child is not easy because all of the sudden that she is an adolescent, she knows everything, and this is what happens:
She knows how to drive a car … and I do not
She knows how to reheat food in the microwave … and I do not
She knows how to separate the clothes before putting them to wash … and I do not
She knows everything about everything … and I do not.
Teenagers are very emotional primarily because the pre-frontal area of their brain is developing until they are 25 years old. Although, their brains will continue changing their structure after their 25th birthday and beyond with the ability that the brain has to self-generate new connections due to neuroplasticity.
And this explains why adolescents say and do things they regret later, or which they can find no explanation.
At times my younger daughter’s temper, and impatient attitude puts me over the edge; and I apply Mindfulness before I pop as a pressure cooker.
If this does not work for me, I count 10 seconds and apply the breathing in and breathing out again. Sometimes I have to wait until she is less emotional to ask her to explain to me again the reason behind her anger, or it is me who needs to clarify to my daughter the situation that made me upset with her.
I know it sounds like a broken record, but we as parents have to listen to our teenage children. It is important that we (the parents) HOLD and show emotional balance at all times because they will follow our example when they become adults and parents themselves. Adolescents have a tendency to get irritated easily. We need to remain calm without being manipulated.
We must continue encouraging our teenagers to give the best of themselves. It is critical to acknowledge their attributes, talents, strengths, and give them more autonomy. [Yeah right … I don’t even believe myself]. I supported my youngest daughter get her driver’s license a month ago, and she is in the process of acquiring vehicle, and believe me, I am happy, but at the same time, I am also concerned, I have mixed feelings… because I’m not ready yet to see my 17 year old stepping outside to drive alone.
Another little tip, we must know how to pick our battles, the rules can be negotiated with dialogue, what cannot be negotiated is the limit we already established .
And finally, we need to give ourselves a daily “bath” of patience, because this stage will pass and they will outgrow their adolescent years. Let’s continue to enjoy our children, and our family. Au revoir. MSV
Published by Maria Santiago- Valentín