The Coronavirus pandemic inspired me to make a picture-book breakdown of my new “Killing Me” music video with reference to self-isolation and self- inquiry.
I’ve always been attracted to looking inwards. I think most artists are. Self-isolation isn’t a foreign experience for me because I’ve spent extended periods of my adult life voluntarily traversing in and out of solitude. My solitary periods are usually spent in meditation or writing retreats.
Many people have a solitary experience even when surrounded by others. As a touring musician, that experience can be enhanced with different cities, faces and hotels every night. I began looking inwards as a way of overcoming this experience and surviving the odd lifestyle. It was extremely liberating when I realized that being alone didn’t mean being lonely.
When you resist your fears, the focus you put on them ends up subconsciously attracting them into your life. It is only by facing our fears that we can free ourselves from them.
If we don’t stare our shadows in the face, we can manifest illness both physically and mentally. I find it quite poignant that illness is what is keeping us inside right now. Facing our fears isn’t enough to overcome them. It takes commitment, persistence and consistency.
It’s one thing to be forced into isolation versus choosing to be alone.
If isolation is imposed upon a person or an entire city, the stress can make it challenging to take advantage of that time for self-reflection. Since the pandemic began, I’ve found it helpful to dedicate windows of time for looking inward and windows for handling business. This is a familiar routine I usually fall into when I’m not on retreat.
We need to know reality as it is, rather than how we interpret it. We all have foggy lenses, but when you become aware of this distinction, you’re likely to ask more questions.
It’s important to become friends with your dark side and work as a team. My shadow has held up mirrors for me, revealing many blind spots.
The epicenter of the video is revealed when I’m shown eating paper out of a book. I’m not just hungry for written knowledge, but self-knowledge that can set me free.
Sometimes in order to see things clearly, we need to look at them from different perspectives. I’m shown meditating on this when holding the prayer beads made of eyeballs. When my shadow then covers my eyes, I find a new way to see.