Funny time. My feelings about it all, I’m realizing, lay underneath the rock of exhaustion and overdoing. I’m beginning to think this whole crazy quarantine experience was orchestrated by the universe to get us all to slow down, and for me personally, to slow the f*ck down. Pardon my English.
I’ve been doing a lot the past year, month, week, day, hour. So much that I’ve lost track of time, and I found myself saying to myself, “Self, this has got to change.” I just couldn’t see how. This is all hindsight of course, and for me, oh so necessary to take this stock of my life. How am I treating myself? Others? How am I working? Am I following my own inner guidance with regards to self-care, creativity, and interacting with friends and family? There are many questions, and I suspect, many answers.
Then I start to think about my choices. How am I doing there? Have I been choosing the healthiest foods to support my body? What about thoughts – am I choosing the healthiest thoughts for my well-being? And how about what social media and news outlets I’m allowing into my consciousness, and for how long a period of time? I find this question to be as important now as it has ever been with the amount of information – accurate, slanted, and hoax – making the rounds re: the coronavirus. And these info bits want inside your home. Double lock those doors friends.
And because of the personal distancing we’re all doing, I find I’m looking at all my relationships these days. How am I doing as a friend? Are there any old, worn out negative patterns still at play? Does this friend appreciate the ways I care for them? Is it reciprocal at some point in time? And how am I showing up in these various relationships? It does take two to tango.
I’m also looking at the work I do. Is it rewarding, or does it feel like Groundhog Day? Am I still doing the same old same old, or does my work light me up and inspire me? Perhaps I’m being of service which feels incredibly rewarding. There are no wrong answers, but rather a great opportunity to check inside and see how the whole operation of you is doing. Time to take stock.
I realize I have a lot of questions for myself, and I suspect I’m not alone here. During this Safer at Home time, I don’t think I’m the only one asking these and other introspective questions. And yes, I’m sure some of us are contemplating our belly button. Frankly, it’s been too long since we did.
We’re going to have a lot of clock units on our hands at home. Some of us will avoid the deeper questions like the plague – that takes on a rather significant meaning at this moment doesn’t it – instead eating all the carbs, drinking all the vodka, or having lots of sex, and taking in the never ending negative news feed, to name a few ways we can escape ourselves. But many will take the deeper dive. I know for myself it’s a little bit scary at first. Kind of like walking into a room with no light. You slow down or stop, try to adjust your eyes to see, and then stretch out your hands and take baby steps to try and navigate the darkness. Eventually we run into or stumble upon something and identify it. Could be a wall, or maybe a doorway. Eventually we come back out into the light. Metaphoric and I believe accurate for this current process we’re all in. We will come out the other side. And most likely we will have learned something about ourselves and the world we inhabit, finding ourselves in a new place.
Where will I be at the end of this particular journey? Who will I be on the other side of it all? And, who am I being while I go through this? All relevant questions I can ask myself now. At the moment, I’m not one hundred percent sure. But my intention is to walk this part of my life’s journey with a tremendous amount of compassion for myself and others. To navigate with as much positivity as I can muster, to set the intention to come out the other side knowing myself more, connecting a bit more deeply with the world outside my door even if it is over Zoom, and realizing that when push comes to shove, we sure as hell do know how to come together when faced with a difficult time. Hi. My name is Barry. Nice to meet you. Maybe for the first time, maybe again, but regardless, it’s good to see you.