Most people have a deep aspiration to have a sense of security — financial security, safety of the physical environment, self-health, health of closest family and friends, security of work, of image and social positioning, security in relationships.
Most people dream of stability, something that will give them a guarantee that everything is fine. These factors often make people cling to their work, to people, to material things, all of which gives them a sense of security.
The truth, however, is that all these external things bring only a false sense of security.
Regardless of how much money one has accumulated, this individual may go bankrupt tomorrow.
Regardless of how much one takes care of his or her health, that’s never an “insurance” against illness or accidents.
Regardless of how much one gives love and commitment to his or her partner, that’s not a guarantee that it will always be so.
Regardless of how many faithful friends one has, that’s not a guarantee that they won’t turn against him or her.
Regardless of how safe and lucrative one’s work may be, the job may not be profitable or as safe tomorrow.
There’s nothing to insure people.
The only certain thing in this world is that nothing is certain.
Seeking security is an illusion.
Where is the solution then?
Deepak Chopra answers this question — “Uncertainty is fearful to the ego, which always wants to control reality, but from the viewpoint of detachment, a constantly shifting and changing universe must remain uncertain. If things were certain, there could be no creativity. Therefore spirit works through surprises and unexpected outcomes. We achieve peace of mind only when we accept the Wisdom of Uncertainty.”
What is the Wisdom of Uncertainty?
Usually, insecurity causes fear — the fear of the unknown, of change, of suffering, of pain, of what possibly might happen, the fear that you may not be able to deal with anything that may happen to you.
As Deepak Chopra says, uncertainty is another word for creation. Uncertainty means change, development, it is the field of possibilities.
When one seeks security, this becomes unbroken link to the familiar, the familiar with the past.
“The known is nothing other than the prison of past conditioning. There’s no evolution in that — absolutely none at all.” ~ Deepak Chopra.
Evolution is possible due to the unexpected events, the change, and the unknown, precisely the uncertain.
What you have to do is to refuse to seek security, to stop clinging to things, and to accept uncertainty as the Wisdom of the Higher Power (anything that this may mean to you) and the hidden order in the Universe.
At a deeper level, everything is fine, and uncertainty is like the ocean of waves that cannot destroy the serenity of the bottom.
The paradox is that it is precisely when one indulges in insecurity and embraces it — that is when one feels most secure.
How can you change your attitude, so that you can become friends with insecurity and see security in it?
Here are some action steps for you:
Refuse to search for security
Know that security is not about owning things, but about how we deal with them. Nobody knows exactly what will happen tomorrow, no one knows how long a relationship will last and whether you will always be on this job. And it is not necessary. Changes, surprises, drops and elevations make life an adventure. Enjoy the moments of the NOW and do not think about it if it will last forever. Tomorrow nothing will be like today, because there is nothing eternal and everything changes. But every moment has its beauty and it is wonderful that the moments change. You do not have to try to keep the present and the familiar.
It’s like trying to stop a river stream.
The stream is constantly running and that doesn’t mean that you cannot enjoy it. And you don’t have to stop it to feel safe. It is more sensible to let it flow and enjoy every moment — every waterfall, every turn or whirlpool that takes you to a new location. Because movement is life.
The change is controlled by non-change
Remember, on a deeper level, always, at all times, everything is fine. The chaos around you is only temporary. This chaos is actually part of life’s path. Life is an eternal dance and every event is part of that dance and makes sense. Everything that happens to you, though sometimes you think that is devastating; it is in the order of things, as it brings you closer to other things in life.
When you resist change and behave to what you know, you resist the natural course of life.
“In my willingness to accept uncertainty, solutions will spontaneously emerge out of the problem, out of the confusion, disorder, and chaos. The more uncertain things seem to be, the more secure I will feel, because uncertainty is my path to freedom. Through the wisdom of uncertainty, I will find my security.” ~ Deepak Chopra
Give up your preliminary expectations
You often create a plan and expect things to develop in a certain way. But that usually brings you disappointments. Besides, when you bind yourself with solid ideas, it prevents you from seeing a whole series of possibilities … And they may prove to be more valuable than your original plan.
Expectations in fact limit you. When you give them up, you become flexible and creative. Then your senses open to the new, to the different.
Free yourself from clinging
The belief that something or someone outside of you can bring you happiness and security places you in a precarious position. So you give up your own strength and become vulnerable and dependent on the outside world.
To escape from clinging, observe the various objects to which you are attached. Take a deep breath and say,
“I like this, but I do not need it to be happy.”
At first, this may seem frightening, but it is actually very liberating. You can even give up some of your stuff you care about to feel that security is not about owning something.
Accept that living fully means that pain, suffering, and loss will be part of life.
“Love something alive — man, animal, plant — and it can die. Believe in someone and it can hurt you, be addicted to someone and it can disappoint you … Go to a higher dimension and you will be rewarded with pain and happiness. A full life is filled with pain. The alternative is not to live real or not to live at all.” ~ Morgan Scott Peck
Make small changes every day in your life
Take small risks. For example, go to another, unknown way when you go to work, go to places where you never go — a museum, a gallery, etc. Meet people, who have different views of life, get acquainted with different theories, religions, and philosophies, change some of your habits, change your appearance, change the environment around you.
At all times, cross the threshold of the unknown, enter new territories.
You will see that these small changes actually bring life, develop, and expand your consciousness, make you more flexible, and turn life into adventure.
Enjoy the change, the unknown, and the surprises of insecurity.
How do you accept uncertainty? What makes you feel safe?
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About The Author
Dr. Mila is an internationally known Business and Life Strategist, Decoder of Human Potential, and Change Catalyst. Her mission is simple: 1 million people around the world to Master The Blank Page™ and intentionally live a life of significance. I million people to create the greatest stories ever told, see the future in front of them, fill the pages ahead with matters of their heart, acts of kindness, and incredible stories of inspiration, and hope.
Originally published at medium.com