Stress is a choice What do I mean by that? This is definitely a big statement. I believe that stress is something we have full control over. I believe this because when I started to paying attention when I was feeling stressed, I was able to pinpoint the cause. Then I would take time to ask if it is something that I can control. If not, then I would release the emotions that I had tied to the situation. This took me a long time to really master. If it was something I could control, then I would still release the emotions tied to it but I would take the actions necessary to release the stress around the situation.
I have learned this thru life experiences. I have been thru a lot in my life and honestly, most of the times when there was stress. It was not from something that I was doing but was from outside sources. I think the biggest thing that helped me with this, even though it took me years, was my brother’s addiction. That time, I was always trying to save him or fix his situation, which of course caused me so much stress and eventually caused health problems. So I began to address the fact that it was not my journey to control, it was his. When I did that, I was able to release the stress and worry I had around the situation.
I also own multiple day spas, and with the initial shut down, I really just knew it wouldn’t work out. I assessed the situation and knew I had no need to worry about it. I surrendered and became grateful of the time that I will have with my husband and for building my other businesses. I learned that we cannot control other people’s actions but we can control how we react. Once you really accept that, your world changes.
There are times that people will really trigger us. What I do is I come back to my heart. I ask myself if this is mine or theirs. If it’s not mine, I release the emotions around it and come back to my breath and take any lessons I have received. I am an empath, so when people are hurting, that can be difficult and distressing for me. So this is time where I ask if this is mine or someone else’s.
What taught me these things are my life experiences and the fact that I want to be present in my life and not always in a place of distress. We are all only human, and there will be times where we get reactive and that’s okay. We are all doing the best with what we have. That is why it is so important to grow your skills in stress management and self-care.
When you are feeling stressed, always ask if this is something that you can control. If it is not, then take note of your emotions and why you feel them and then let it go. Come back to your breath and really receive it from the universe, instead of taking it. If it is something you can control still, asses your emotions and then take actions to allow yourself to release the stress. Always express gratitude for any lessons that you receive. Those are sent by the universe to help you evolve. If stress is still very present in you, emotional freedom techniques can be a great way to regulate your system.
For further discussion on this, I have a free video on this on my website: carynkcoaching.thinkific.com.