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Stop the Cycle of Negative Self Talk

A quick strategy to break free from any self-defeating cycle

Self-sabotage is a real thing, and it’s something many of us do far too often. We make one mistake, feel guilty, and ‘accidentally’ dig ourselves into a deeper hole. And that negative side of our mind doesn’t help.

Do any of us really want this cycle to continue?

Even if you feel a critical voice saying “you deserve it,” the real answer is no. We all want to be happy, empowered, and fearless when reaching towards our dreams.

When you’re free of these cycles of negative self talk, you’ll be free of perfectionism. You’ll honor and accept the mistakes you make. You’ll confidently run into healthy risks, even when you know there’s a chance you might not succeed.

So go ahead and try this:

Discover the Limiting Belief Behind Your Negative Self-Talk Cycle

A limiting belief is a false belief we have about ourselves or the world that limits, distresses, or hurts us in some way. Every negative thought is backed by one of these.

All limiting beliefs are false. They are things we told ourselves in the past to cope with or understand our circumstances. At the time, they might have been essential to our survival, but now as we are choosing to grow, we have to face these beliefs and transform them into something empowering and true.

There’s a simple exercise to overcome these self defeating cycles and illuminate the belief behind them. It’s called an “ABC.” (It actually includes the letters A, B, C, D, and E. Guess it sounds better just to say ABC, though!)

What the ABC Letters Mean

A: Activating Event. The situation, feeling, or trigger that set off this cycle and awoke the limiting belief.

B: Belief. The limiting belief behind the self defeating cycle.

C: Consequence. The behavior or feeling you want to change. Essentially, the self defeating pattern you can actually see happening in your life.

D: Dispute. This is all about listing why the limiting belief is false! Argue against it, write down facts that disprove it, and explain dozens of reasons why your mind should stop trusting this limiting belief.

E: Effective Belief. Here’s the transformative part of the exercise, where you create a new belief that is true and beneficial. An “un-limiting belief,” if you will.

Strangely enough, this exercise starts by answering C. Then you’ll answer A, B, D, and E. By the end of this, you’ll know what triggered the self defeating cycle, the belief behind it, and how exactly to overcome it all.

The most important part of this process is beginning to integrate the new effective belief into your mind. This is where the real work is done. It’s this action that will make a real difference in your life.

So go ahead and do this! Try this exercise, then repeat those new positive beliefs to yourself as often as you can.

To see an ABC practice in play, visit this link.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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