“Whom should I talk with about what I feel?”, “Why do I have no one who understands me and accept me as I am?”, “Am I so unworthy that I have none so close in my life?”,” OH! Today no one’s home! Will do all stuffs I love to!”, “This Sunday will read and relax since the family is out for social engagements.”
All the above feelings although suggest feeling of people being in same situation, yet have varied internal responses. We can make out that being alone doesn’t always mean that one internally feels alone. Many people are seen alone but they are quite happy and satisfied from within. Yes, one certainly does not do well if one feels alone! It is because we humans generally need social relationships to remain deeply satisfied at a mental level. Feeling of being a loner arise due to the lack of adequate social relationships in our life or may be as compared to others we see around us. If we observe and remark the feeling of being alone triggers alarm bells in our brain similar to that of when we feel hunger, thirst or physical pain.
The moment we feel lonely, we somehow start not liking our own selves and this situation as we wonder about and dislike the fact that we feel this way.
This feeling within feels like being in a “awkward” position when in crowd and seeing others socializing and happy. Thus one slowly starts isolating from people even in the known nearby and crowd one resides in.
It does not end here!
The damaging thoughts that arise while feeling lonely may pose threat to our self as by accepting these we start believing we are unfit for the society. Many do develop suicidal thoughts and get trapped in the whirlpool of these tendencies if not stop here.
Let us discover how these feeling generate within
Ignorance and lack of true understanding of The Self becomes main reason for having feeling of loneliness. Not respecting and giving importance to own self at first place results in arousal of such inner state. Also having difficulty in adjusting with other we live with –adjusting with their thoughts, way of life, etc. generates loneliness feeling.
Although we desire yet we struggle and find difficult to cope up with being alike one among those we live. In course of time, on repeatedly experiencing this feeling, sets within us a sense of insecurity and we tend to compete with our evil thoughts that harshly express our inability to be like others.
One needs to understand that until we continue to feel incomplete inside out, we cannot find peace with anyone around us. And gradually as more we tend dive in this loner feeling and sinking in these insecure feelings, we feel more distant from our close relationships. This follows the feeling of being left out among people.
So how can we manage these feelings and overcome them
- The best way is to not pay any heed to such feelings or lowly thoughts. That which make one suffer are to be understood as not benefiting ones. Try having faith and courage in place of these thoughts and overcome this phase with right understanding, remaining positive.
- The best antidote ever shall be staying amongst supportive and positive ones. Be with those who like to be along with. This shall help you remain open minded and speak up about your likings.
- Inspiring motivation books which have motivated millions of people, reading these shall help one remain motivated and bring positive impact on our personality. Reading them shall uplift us form drowning into darkness of Loneliness.
- Ultimately, when the darkness due to ignorance of The Self is replaced by the light of the Knowledge of the Soul which is your real identity, there is no room for feelings like self insecurity or loneliness from within and a sense of peace ensues within. The external circumstances may or may not change but the strength to fight against them just doubles from within after attaining Knowledge of Self.