As an Esthetician, I see women in their purest form, without makeup, unshaven, and sometimes naked.
It can be distressing to be seen by another person when you’re not at “your best”, and it can leave you feeling vulnerable, and often times, ashamed. It’s unfortunate that women feel the need to automatically apologize for their appearance. Is it fear of being judged? Perhaps. I’m here to tell you that you’re beautiful and there’s never a need to apologize for the way you look.
Try some of these techniques the next time you feel the urge to tell someone “I’m sorry I’m having a bad hair day” or “Ugh I’m so fat it’s embarrassing” or “omg I’m sorry I haven’t had time for a manicure and my nails look disgusting”.
1. Appreciate and focus on what your body can do. Our bodies are incredible, and they can do so much. We create life, we run marathons, and we can downward dog. Focus on what your body can do for you. So, when you’re about to blurt out an apology about your weight, stop and visualize what positive things your body has accomplished, big or small. Appreciate the fact that you have a body that’s keeping you alive and healthy.
2. Avoid Negative Self-Talk. When the inner convo in your mind starts, it can be really hard to stop. Take that thought and tell it NO. Stand up to it, and replace it with a positive thought about yourself. We engage in negative self-talk so often, that we don’t even realize we are doing it. Breaking the pattern will be hard, but once you get in the groove, you’ll see a huge improvement in your mood and well-being. Negative self-talk is very dangerous and can inhibit you from leading a life of happiness and accomplishing goals.
3. Shift your focus. When you start to feel bad about yourself, go into your minds filing cabinet and pull up a memory of an accomplishment you’ve made. Shifting your attention to your positive skills, talents, and qualities will automatically reduce any negative or shameful feelings you may have about yourself. Your unique skills and talents are what make you beautiful and special, and they should be celebrated.
4. Forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is so cathartic. Be compassionate and kind to yourself, and cut yourself some slack. It may sound silly, but tell yourself a joke to lighten the mood in your mind. We all make mistakes and we have to live with them, but that doesn’t mean you have to replay those mistakes in your head forever. Did you stray from your weight loss goals? FORGIVE YOURSELF. Forgiveness is a choice, and one that should be made.