Having a “broken heart” sounds like such a cliche but I feel like it completes me as a human being. I’m sure this is shocking to you, but let me explain.
When mortals talk about their heart being “broken,” it indicates that expectations weren’t met or they suffered a loss. A loss can be of health, people and relationships.
A broken heart can come from many different people – friends, relatives, partners, spouses, lovers and also family. I think the closer you are to someone, the more the disappointment sets in, the more the heart feels like it is breaking.
I go through five stages of heartbreak:
I am stunned and shocked- how could this happen to me? I am a great person, and I try to do my best to help others, I don’t deserve this shit, life is so unfair.
I usually cry over everything sometimes blaming myself for my existence and other times blaming my soft, sensitive heart. I start to feel like I’m not worthy of being loved and am dispensable. The basic human desire to be significant is stripped away from me, and that hurts.
This is another hard one; I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I feel empty. The emotional emptiness manifests itself into physical pain. I can have lots of people around me, but the sense of loss can’t be filled by anyone else.
Once I am done with my pity party, the anger crawls in. The anger is an extension of my ego- thinking and believing that how dare humans (or God) does this to me. This lights a fire inside, and I am ready to fight back. Not fight in the physical sense but fight to bring the joy back to my soul.
It eventually comes. I start to realize that it wasn’t about me in the first place. People come in my life for a reason and a time, when their need ends they will leave me. I learn the lesson, and now it is time to move on.
These five stages of heartbreak work for me because it takes me through a roller coaster of emotions. I have to face my fears and ego, and I have to humble myself. I get to look deep into my cracked soul that is stitched with white lies and tell myself that I can survive this loss also. I stitch up that open wound with truth and allow myself to breathe again. And I realize, that I can heal and move on until once again; my heart is broken and the process of restitching my soul begins-again.
Life, I have realized is juggling the art of having a broken heart and using that same heart to love again. To look within and recognize that loss is as much a part of life as love is. Even though it feels like our heart is breaking, it’s just our soul getting stronger, more significant and more lovable.
So yes it is beautiful to have a broken heart because it allows me to love more intensely, laugh a little louder and learn how strong I am!