“When you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” Dr. Brene Brown
What is Self-care?
Basically, self-care is taking the time to care for yourself in whichever ways work best for you. We know that to be in a healthy relationship we each need time for ourselves and our own interests. In order for a relationship to be healthy, partners must trust that when they set boundaries and are intimate with each other, both people will uphold those boundaries, and neither will attempt to hurt the other partner. In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to express their feelings and respect each other’s boundaries.
Taking time to practice self-care every day, even if it is only for a few minutes, creates space for peace and emotional safety. It’s healthy to give yourself emotional breaks and step back from your situation sometimes. In the end, this can help you make the decisions that are best for you.
You should never have to compromise your safety, integrity or privacy to be in a relationship. Self-care is about taking steps to feel healthy and comfortable. Whether it happened recently or years ago, self-care can help you cope with the short- and long-term effects of a traumatic life event. After a trauma, it’s important to keep your body healthy and strong. You may be feeling emotionally drained. Good physical health can support you through this time.
Self-care can be a really positive thing for anyone, including people who have experienced some form of trauma. Journaling is one of the most popular self-care activities. You can go old school and grab a spiral notebook and a pencil, invest in a fancy leather-bound sketchbook with a key, or search online for a password-protected journal, so only you can have access to it.
No matter how you organize your thoughts, it’s important to let yourself dream! If you don’t enjoy writing, there are other things that you can do. Just start thinking about what makes you happy. As an example, volunteering for something in your local community not only lets you give back, it can also help you meet people who have similar interests and lifestyles. For solo projects do anything creative, like art, music, cooking or learning a new language as a different way to express yourself.
And if baking is your self-care go-to, it can be a great way to make friends who will help you eat the results! For some people, spending time with family is very relaxing and makes them happy. For others, talking to a therapist is better for their mental health.
When it comes to self-care, there is no right or wrong answer. All that matters is that you are taking some time for yourself to do something you enjoy.
Don’t forget to eat regularly and drink plenty of water. Especially when our minds or hearts are stressed, we rely on our bodies, even more, to help us trudge forward, so make sure you’re fueling yourself with a balanced mix of veggies, fruits, nuts, carbs, and protein. Skipping meals because you’re upset or too busy can not only add to your stress, your body can respond physically in the form of headaches, digestion problems, and mood swings from drastic changes in blood sugar.
Most people have been known to rely on coffee or energy drinks to get going from time to time. But sugary, caffeinated drinks are also known to cause a “crash” so make sure for every cup of coffee you have, you match it with a glass of water.
Physical activity is not only great for your body, but it is also a really helpful tool in your self-care toolbox. You don’t have to be a hardcore athlete, just getting moving and appreciating all of the wonderful things our bodies can do for us is therapeutic, too. Going for walks, especially if you can soak up some nature, can be just as powerful as running a marathon when it comes to emotional wellness.
Jogging, Yoga, sports, dancing, or throwing a ball with your dog are all good ways to release pent-up energy. Getting regular exercise can help you sleep better, too, which is another crucial element in taking care of yourself.
If you’re not getting enough sleep yet, tackling self-care may seem like just another thing to stress out about, but it can be really simple. Taking a bubble bath, playing a video game, painting your nails, working on a car, watching your favorite show or a silly cat video, reading a good book, or even just taking five minutes to do some deep breathing or meditating all count as self-care.
Communication is Key to a Healthy Relationship
Every relationship has arguments and disagreements sometimes — this is normal. How you choose to deal with your disagreements is what really counts. Both people should work to communicate effectively. Only you know what’s on your mind, so unless you express yourself, the other person is only left guessing.
Learning to listen is equally, and possibly even more, essential to strong communication. When you show the other person that what they say matters to you, they will be more likely to trust you and listen to you in return. Intimacy is strongly affected by how both people feel, so it really pays off to create a positive atmosphere. You and your partner should have equal say and should never be afraid to express how you feel. It’s not just about speaking up for yourself — you should also listen to and seriously consider what your partner says.
Beloved, learn to love and empower yourself again… RISE!!!