Inner Mean Girl — We all have this inner mean girl that is telling us we cannot do something that is very loud in our thoughts. Every time the mean girl shows up, re-frame the Impostor Syndrome to a positive belief or things you have done that make you qualified. Repeat positive affirmations out loud and often. The inner mean girl can be the #1 thing that holds us back, and this will quiet her down.
As a part of our series about how very accomplished leaders were able to succeed despite experiencing Imposter Syndrome, I had the pleasure of interviewing Amber Dietz.
Amber Dietz is a business & marketing strategist that helps the soul-preneur build a business, a brand, and their Instagram to become their own digital CEO. She has built a trusted business with authenticity by sharing her insights, growth, and scalable business tactics with her clients so that they can build a business from their passion. Living beautifully untamed and building a business doing it is the name of the game for Amber.
From a single mom to what seemed only to be a dream, to now helping others around the world take their passion from their soul and build a scalable business doing it, is what lights her up. She is an iced coffee enthusiast, she sees the world in bright colors, and will build you a road map of success so that your soul is set on fire.
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’?
Iwas raised by my father who was a single dad to 3 kids, so needless to say we didn’t have much growing up. As I got older, I thought that was how life had to be for me too, a constant struggle and always stressed as a single parent. One day as I sat in my cubicle job, dreading the day again, I thought there had to be more to life than a job I never wanted to go to, being stressed, and living by someone else’s rules. Although it sounded great to have a better life, I still didn’t know how to change things or if I was smart enough, deserving of, or even had the time to figure it out. But, in 2013 when I was only 29, I was told I had a rare condition that may give me only a few more months to live. The doctors made it clear that they could not guarantee that they could save my life so I had to write out my will and say goodbye to my 5-year-old son. I had to stay in the hospital for what could be my last month’s thinking about how I never lived out any of my dreams and the passions on my soul. I knew then, that if I made it out alive, I would chase the passion that lived in my soul. Once I had survived the odds, I began the journey of following what set my soul on fire. This began the journey of leaving the cubicle behind, traveling the world, and starting a business to help others bring their passion to the world.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
There I sat alone in Munich Germany for business travel, a girl who had never been out of the US or hardly her home state. I had dreamed of traveling for work my whole life, but I thought there was no way it could happen to me. I was a single mom who had nothing, struggled for an awfully long time and so many limiting beliefs as to why I could never be anything more. And yet, there I was, smelling the fresh pretzels, the bubbly beer, and watching the crowds pass the enchanting castles in Munich. I had made it, I made it farther than even my dreams allowed me to have. I learned that you can do so much more than you even realize possible. That everything in the world is just waiting for you to show up and be the best version of yourself and when you do, the universe will serve you more than ever imaginable. I learned to never stop dreaming bigger and following that calling.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Soul on fire was created not only to help entrepreneurs create a business, but to really craft something from you’re their soul. There is magic when you not only have a strategy but you are living a life always meant for you right from your soul passion. Business and income can be easy when you are doing what you are meant to do on this Earth. The root of this is from I will never forget about the doctors telling me that they could not guarantee they could save my life. That There is a chance I only had a few months to live and that gut wrenching feeling of how I was to fearful to live out what I wanted to do in this world. Because of this, Soul On Fire is not simply a guide on how to make a business, but the real depts of what makes life meaningful for each individual.
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
I will never forget Cheryl Calvo. When I finally decided to leave the cubicle I dreaded so much, I never knew meeting Cheryl was going to change my entire existence. At the time, I wanted to climb the corporate ladder and travel the world for work since that was not something I had ever done in my life. I began going to interview after interview and constantly being rejected. I started doubting I could actually chase this dream of being more. I got a call for what was my dream job at the time and Cheryl interviewed me. She was magnetic, bold, and didn’t care what anyone thought of her. We connected immediately, but I still doubted I could really get a job I had only dreamed of for years. Days later after the interview, Cheryl called and offered me the job. She was the first person to believe in me and give me a chance. For the next year, we went on business travel together and she showed me a world I never knew existed. She believed in me and took me under her wings and changed me to the person I am today. After an amazing year together, I got a message I will never forget. Cheryl had unexpectedly passed away in her sleep. Although Cheryl’s time on this Earth changed me in to the person I am today, I also didn’t know that going to her services would also change my life forever too. It was no surprise that hundreds of people showed up to pay their respects to her, but what shifted my perspective was how every single person at her service had a story. They had a story about how Cheryl changed their life. They didn’t just speak about how they knew her, they all had amazing stories of the amazing things she had done to impact them. This was a major moment for me as I realized that is what life was really about, how you impact someone else’s life. I will forever take on that mantra in Cheryl’s name.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the experience of Impostor Syndrome. How would you define Impostor Syndrome? What do people with Imposter Syndrome feel?
You know that feeling when want to do something amazing, and immediately think ‘’Who in the world am I to do this?!’’ even when you have all the credentials or have done it a million times? This is Imposter Syndrome. It’s that voice inside your head that wants to keep you safe and makes you question what you are doing. No matter what stage you are at in your business, that voice can always jump in and remind you that they might find out you are an imposter. You can feel nervous, anxious, and as if at any moment someone is going to tell the whole world you are a fraud.
What are the downsides of Impostor Syndrome? How can it limit people?
Impostor Syndrome will keep your passions and dreams inside of you forever. It will be that voice inside your head that says you cannot build that business or write that book. Unfortunately, so many will let that voice get so loud so that they never follow those dreams on their soul. They may start the business or begin creating, but once Impostor Syndrome rears it’s spiky head into our thoughts, that’s wear our passions get halted for years and sometimes forever.
How can the experience of Impostor Syndrome impact how one treats others?
Because Impostor Syndrome can make you feel anxious, and out of place, you may treat others with big ideas with the same kind of judgement as you are expecting to happen to you. You may question someone’s credentials or authority based off your own fear of being called a fruad.
We would love to hear your story about your experience with Impostor Syndrome. Would you be able to share that with us?
There have been many times I have experienced this, but there was a time when I was sitting in a very elite fortune 500 conference room. There were CEO’s, executives, and big names sitting right next to me in that same room. I looked around at everyone who had high fashion clothing, & big titles. At that moment, the Impostor Syndrome rushed through me like a ton of bricks as I asked myself who was I to be in this room sitting next to these people? I thought someone was going to stand up tell everyone that I was once a broke single mom with nothing, and I was not qualified to be there. I edged to the end of my seat just waiting for that moment to happen the entire meeting. Every time I was asked a question, I thought ‘’this is it, they are going to tell me to get out. I knew I couldn’t do this!’’ Of course, as much as I thought about this every time I went to a big meeting, this never happened so I began to trust that I was meant to be there.
Did you ever shake the feeling off? If yes, what have you done to mitigate it or eliminate it?
I don’t think it is a feeling that will go away 100% even when you reach the next level. I will still have moments where I question if someone is going to find out I shouldn’t be there. But, I have used a few techniques to help eliminate it. One thing I will do is write down all my accomplishments, and why I should be there with positive affirmations. This make me feel renewed and a reminder that I can do these things and I belong in that space. I will also use photos or videos on my phone as a visual reminder to myself of all the things that led me to where I am. It is a reminder that the only permission or credentials we need come from ourselves.
In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone who is experiencing Impostor Syndrome can take to move forward despite feeling like an “Impostor”? Please share a story or an example for each.
I use the I-S-H techniques (Imposter Syndrome Hacks)
1. Inner Mean Girl — We all have this inner mean girl that is telling us we cannot do something that is very loud in our thoughts. Every time the mean girl shows up, reframe the Impostor Syndrom to a positive belief or things you have done that make you qualified. Repeat positive affirmations out loud and often. The inner mean girl can be the #1 thing that holds us back, and this will quiet her down.
2. Fail Forward — Don’t be afraid to take the leap and fail. Action will always create clarity even if you feel like it is a fail. That fail will simply be a lesson and the more action you take, the less you will feel the Impostor Syndrome.
3. Your Tribe — You tribe of people that you surround yourself with personally and professionally make a big impact to moving past Impostor Syndrome. Even though your tribe may experience the exact same feelings, they can either hinder you or help you move past it. Set yourself with success over the fraud feeling with people that are also action takers and align with your vision.
4. Stick It- Grab a few sticky notes and write positive affirmation and your accomplishments as many places as possible. Remind yourself that you do deserve to be in that place and the more you remind yourself of this, the less you will have the inner mean girl show up telling you otherwise.
5. Soul-cial Proof — This step can be overlooked as we typically look for outward confirmations that we are allowed to do something. But, the permission that we are seeking that tells us we are not a fraud, simply comes from within. Sounds simple enough, but so many seek outward approval we don’t look internally. This will come from your soul, the inner work that reminds you that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and there is no reason to doubt it.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the greatest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would empower a movement that allows anyone and everyone to follow that passion that lives deep with inside them so that they live with their soul on fire every day. Everyone would have the tools to do what they are meant for on this Earth so that there would be no more dreaded Monday’s or not feeling fulfilled. The movement would allow you to live a life of purpose and be less struggle and stress and more just being and making a living doing it.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
I would love to dine with Marie Forleo! I would choose her because besides her amazing dance moves, she embodies the same vision I have for a movement of helping others see their unlimited potential. She was the first person that made me believe that I could be more in this world and led me down my journey to do just that. Besides being such an inspiration to this world, her epic humor, business tactics, and beautiful soul would make having a lunch with her magical.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
Follow me on Instagram at @soulonfireofficial and FB @soulonfire02
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!