Community//

Stepping Out of the Shadow of Shame

Enough Is Enough!

Photo by Martino Pietropoli on Unsplash

The news deluge out of Hollywood the past two weeks from women sharing their experiences of sexual assault and harassment, as well as the growing #MeToo movement, has me more inspired than ever about what can happen when one person has the courage to share their story and say, “Enough is enough!”

I believe the Universe is always giving us feedback. It is always holding up a mirror, showing us on both an individual and collective level the outdated beliefs, patterns, and behaviors that need to be re-examined, released, and replaced so that we can evolve and spiral up in a higher level of consciousness. There is no question in my mind that although horrific, all of the craziness and chaos going in the world is part of a massive wake-up call that will hopefully bring a global breakthrough. That is one of the reasons I am so inspired by the #MeToo movement. Not only is enough is enough when it comes to predatory behavior, the misuse of power, and sexual assault and harassment, but also enough is enough of people quieting their voices, tolerating the intolerable, stepping over their truth, minimizing themselves or their stories, and in any way undermining their integrity.

In my work I frequently talk about “Integrity Snatchers.” Integrity Snatchers are the constant companions, the characteristics and situations, that we all live with that diminish our sense of self, erode our self-trust, and whittle away at our birthright of integrity. Integrity Snatchers keep us from making the highest choices for ourselves and pursuing the life of our dreams. There are seven different Integrity Snatchers, the first of which is shame.

“Shame is one of the most painful emotions that there is. Our shame, which is generally birthed from some childhood event, teaches us to hide who we truly are because we fear that who we are is fundamentally flawed. Our shame leads us to believe that people won’t like us if they know who we truly are at our core. Our shame is what creates our external persona and robs us of authenticity.

Believing that we are our shame, fundamentally flawed, need fixing, are not to be trusted, and must hide, we dull down our desires and don’t strive for amazing. Why? Because we don’t believe we deserve amazing or can achieve amazing. Above all, we don’t want to feel the pain of our shame if we risk something and fail. The time bomb of our shame is ticking loudly and keeps us stuck and playing small. It leaves us paralyzed, fearing rejection, expecting disappointment, hiding who we are. It keeps us from reaching for the life we dream of and know we are meant to live.”

Watching women join in the choir of #MeToo has been so moving because they are stepping out of the shadow of shame and into the light. No longer will they be driven by their fears and stories of not enough. Instead they have found their footing and have been catapulted from “not enough” to “Enough is enough!”

In my life, the most pivotal moments have been predicated on the statement “Enough is enough!” From the time I literally walked out of a party and away from my marriage, to when I vowed to myself that I would no longer self-sabotage my greatness with my binge eating behavior, to the time I finally wrote my book after years of putting it off, “Enough is enough!” has always been the power statement that has placed me back in the driver’s seat of my life.

Whether in our individual lives or as part of the collective, like in the #MeToo movement, “Enough is enough!” is generally preceded by and accompanied with profound pain. Yet at some point, the internal angst and anguish of cheating on ourselves or feeling frozen by fear, or claustrophobic in the cage of our “comfort zone,” becomes so great that we cannot breathe. Even worse is that gnawing feeling, that ache inside, which knows that we are meant to have, be, and become so much more if only we could break out of the prison of our past and the imprisonment of our Integrity Snatchers.

Enough is enough! is the ultimate declaration of independence. It is a declaration to yourself and the Universe that you are no longer going to sit back, settle, play safe, accept the unacceptable, or step over or quiet your truth. It is a declaration that you are finally claiming all of who you are and your right to live in alignment with your deepest truths and grandest desires which, to me, is your integrity. So instead of letting life’s situations break you down, shut you down, or beat you down, use them as a mirror to show you where in your life or in the world “Enough is enough!”

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.