Standing in Our Value

...Learning to say "no"

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Photographer Beth Shedd’s shot of her silhouette reminds us to stand tall in claiming our value.

“The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.”—Sonya Friedman

Called to shed energies that leave us feeling smaller than what we know our worth to be, there are times in life when we must say “no” to situations, opportunities or people before us and opt to move on.

We often get hints that it is time for a “no” when we sense we are settling for less than we deserve. Other times, we have simply outgrown one particular way of being in the world and are ready to more broadly extend ourselves.

Sometimes we receive the messages gently, when a wise inner voice encourages us to step out of the comfort zone of the familiar. Like the butterfly prompted to leave the cocoon, we know our time to soar and live into a greater sense of bigness has arrived. Those who join us must be ready to fly, or at least enjoy watching us prosper in new ways.

Other times, we are jolted forward when others do not sense our value, treating our presence or contributions matter-of-factly, without any appreciation. Whether it is the date who does not think to bring a flower, a card or something of thought and care on a significant occasion, or the employer who inadequately compensates us for our work, the lack of acknowledgment can feel harsh and insensitive. Despite the hurt, we can bless these others as we let them go, silently thanking those for helping us claim our own worth.

Every “no” is frequently a gateway to a bigger “yes.” Trust that in the waiting period between the old and new there will be fresh opportunities for growth. Some may come in small, incremental steps that help us instill an even greater sense of worthiness and confidence. Others may require we take giant leaps, after readying ourselves to play a bigger game.

Either method of delivery will help us stand in our value if we remain loyal to ourselves and our vision for our most joyful and fulfilling life.

BELIEF TIPS OF THE WEEK (Repeat each morning upon waking, throughout the day and five minutes before going to bed each evening):

1. I allow myself to trust that in saying “no,” I open to the right “yes.”

2. I allow myself to stand in my value by being loyal to myself.

To learn more ways to stand tall in your power, email [email protected] for her tip sheet.  Please put the words “stand tall” in the subject line of the email.

Originally published at

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