Speaking up – the Missing Link in Personal Development

Make your growth experience an "outside job"

Always searching, always improving and always exploring.

That’s what we’re up for, no matter if we call it spiritual or personal growth, personal development or self improvement.

And what an exciting journey this is!

Once we dive into this world we realize very fast it’s a bottomless pit and we can easily go on exploring for our next 5 lives to come. Or more!

But even with an “Ivy League” diploma in personal development and countless trainings accomplished we can easily feel like absolute novices, doubting if all this work had made any difference because miraculously we end up in the same tricky life situations.

So what’s going wrong there?

What’s the missing link that we might have overlooked during all this time?

Maybe we haven’t found the right training yet?

To be honest, I doubt this.

And I doubt that there’s a right or a wrong training. I believe everything we do that brings us in closer connection with ourselves and the world we want to create is the right experience for us.

Bookstores and online platforms have never been more abundant in regards to self-help books and learning material.

From Hawaiian Ho’oponopono to Shamanic dream interpretation, all is possible and 24/7 accessible. Infinite offerings, just one mouse click away.

If you’re a curious, open-mined person like myself, always eager to learn and explore, you probably acquired a remarkable collection of courses by now. Congratulations.

But we should also pay attention that we don’t make our personal growth journey dependent on finding the “right” courses or on keep doing one course after the other.

There’s so much innate wisdom in every one of us and we shouldn’t give this power out of our hands or starting to doubt it.

Maybe it’s a matter of translation?

Diving into a new spiritual practice or personal development experiences is amazing, whether through a retreat, a training, an online course, or a new book.

But who doesn’t know this situation; we’re super motivated during the course but 3 weeks in we already returned to our old habits, lifestyle and mind models.

We often have difficulties to “translate” what we learned to our day to day life.

And we feel it’s too much effort.

But that’s a little translation hiccup that’s easy to alleviate.

Instead of wanting to apply everything we just learned we should lower the bar and make it a subtle shift.

One little take away or one new practice that doesn’t interfere with our daily routine too much is already a great start and more than enough to get us into the flow.

Maybe the missing link lies somewhere we haven’t looked yet?

And somewhere we wouldn’t expect it.

When we talk about personal development and personal growth we often refer to it as an “inside job”, something we have to explore within us. Totally agree with it.

But that’s just one side of the coin.

Speak up – make personal development an outside job!

All our beautiful inner work is just half as powerful and impactful if we don’t share it with the world around us. And with the people it concerns.

That’s where communication enters the stage. Growth communication – not small talk.

And that’s where so many of us get stage fright and run off.

Yes indeed, it’s so much easier “developing” and “growing” ourselves comfortably and peacefully on our own than sharing our needs, our aspirations, and our boundaries with others and having to deal with their reaction towards it.

But we’ll never bring this beautiful inside work into full fruition if we neglect the outside job of speaking up and communicating.

It’s not easy, I know. But it’s crucial and an important part in personal development. Acknowledging that this might have been the missing link is the first important step.

Practicing growth communication and allowing ourselves to be surprised by the outcome will be the second.

So go for it. The missing link is right there, on the tip of your tongue.

Originally published at

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