A soulmate is not found. A soulmate is recognized.
I have a theory. There is a difference between a person you can fall in love with and a person who is your real soulmate. It feels totally different to be with one or the other. And if you have been with your soulmate once, you will know the difference. With a soulmate it is not only about falling in love, it is a cosmically strong spiritual connection, a level further. Your soulmate really owns your heart, and the relationship between you two is something extremely intense, pure, overwhelming, and magical. It’s a person that really makes you feel at home, you cannot imagine how life would be without him/her and you feel like you have known each other through many lifetimes (which your soul probably has).
I feel like a part of my soul has loved you since the beginning of everything. Maybe we’re from the same star.
Now, wait for it. It is possible, that you and your soulmate are just not meant to be. At least not yet. Maybe in the next life. But right now, you have tried everything, and your relationship has not worked out anyway. Not because of the lack of love, but because of circumstances, external things, who knows what.
Waving goodbye to your soulmate is a pain that feels nothing less than unbearable. It feels like all the strings inside you are breaking, like you are not sure anymore who you are and where are you going from now on. As if a part of your soul was torn out. Your friends will tell you ‘It’s not the end of the world’. But actually, it feels exactly as if it was.
Giving someone a piece of your soul is better than giving a piece of your heart. Because souls are eternal.
What happens next? Well, you’ll find love again, but it will never feel the same. It will be a nice relationship, but you will always feel like something is missing. You cannot explain it in a rational way, but it does not go away.
Furthermore, no matter how many years pass, you still think about the memories. You will always remember. Especially when very bad or very good things happen, that you know only your soulmate would really understand. You’ll feel a burning need to reach out to them, but because we use our minds and not hearts as the main GPS, you won’t. You’ll get random deja-vous from time to time, allowing a smell or a sound to take you back to the time you shared. You’ll always carry it with you, locked with a heavy key in a dusted basement in the bottom of your heart.
Finally, you will become a different person. Since a part of your soul dies when your soulmate leaves, you will never feel entirely the same. Your new partner will make you happy, but it won’t be the same insane feeling overthrowing your whole body and soul. It will be much more stable, rational, calm, comforting. Which may be a good thing in the end. Nobody can live on an infinite rollercoaster.
Lastly, you keep dreaming of your soulmate, no matter how much time has passed, it still happens from time to time.
We had the stars, you and I. And this is given once only.
Soulmates don’t grow on trees, that’s for sure. It’s not the easiest thing to find them. And if you did manage to find them, it’s possible that you were not able to keep them.
True love is magical and mystical and overwhelming, and not everyone has the chance to experience it. But it is also complicated and difficult.
It’s like water that we want to hold between our hands. No matter how hard we try to pull our fingers together, we know at some point that we cannot avoid it — it will find its way to escape, and only our wet skin will remind us that it has once been here.
Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more. As one of my favorite poets said:
It is correct to love even in the wrong time.
So, I guess, let’s keep searching, and hopefully also finding, but most importantly — living and loving.
Originally published at medium.com