Nowadays, as times are changing along with people’s changing mindsets establishing a boundary or I should say drawing a line between you and other people or irrelevant work. Somewhere and definitely a time in our lives will come that time we surely have to start re-thinking about our limits and our well depicted choices that would fully describe us emotionally and mentally, that courage to be a unique self.
For us to live and to attain something important or to keep our personal and professional lives free from bias and forming to achieve their target/aim to live in peace and contentment, the creation of boundaries at some part becomes essential to focus on life’s goals.
It is very important for a person to determine when to set a boundary and how to successfully implement it. It is simply understandable for the person, that the whole game controller which has the direct impact on taking a difficult decision or I should exclaim it as a bold decision is to fix the particular mindset in order to maintain a healthy balance between work as well as personal life. Once you start noticing convergence in your views regarding your planned goals or aim and everything seems to be mismanaged despite your sincere efforts being driven and not been able to cope up with time constraints. THERE ! setting up of a boundary becomes essential.
Setting up of boundaries, personal or professional is not that easy task as it involves total involvement of ‘YOU’. Yes, you, because only we are the ones knowing ourselves better, I am not saying in terms of what we want from life, but I am talking about our internal sense or intuition, as we know our feelings, we are till now well aware of our personal space. It becomes really important while deciding our boundaries, inclusion of environment and our mindset as well to gain beneficial results out of it. I personally found it pretty harder to fix the boundation, but was really knowing very well that at a particular moment of the time its existence would be proved vital. On this part, to know ourselves pretty well would help us to know where to start and where to stop.
We all people live in a society and are an active part of it as well. We make many friends and professional relations at the workplace. But to determine by whom or to whom limits are to be set upon becomes crucial. It proved confusing and difficult for me also, as in my friend’s circle. I found out different personalities, there are some ways which helped me establish a boundary, so that I could get rid of such draining relationships :
Remember there are many kinds and types of people which would demand different types of behaviour from you. Though you have a wide option for setting boundary
· There are some people who maybe jealous of you by some or other thing, would be again and again telling you and maybe could try to humiliate you by telling your weak points to all. In this case, (first of all, I would like to state here, the best thing before setting a boundary is to do an open talk with that person) and if he/she wouldn’t respond appropriately, then you should definitely draw a line in between.
· Some people are born with competitive nature, they’ll keep comparing them with you on every step and could make up feel inferior. Talk with them calmly and make them understand that in a rage of competition, they’re losing out on real friendship and its joy.
· Another category of friends contains those who treat you good in the case to trap you or take out their work from you. It becomes a necessity to make a space from them, and if they are not leaving you or are behind you. Just avoid, it’s better to have no friends like these.
There are much more, we’ll get at different stances of life, but when once we understand ourselves and our priorities, it becomes a lot easier for us to set up boundaries and to stick through them.
In my life, till now I have come across some toxic people and the most shocking thing for me at that time was those people were my close relatives and I couldn’t also run away from them, as I am also part of the family. The problem started when, they started making me feel less worth, tried to conquer the peace in my life, and told me that I am not that favourable person which people wants. And I used to trust my people a lot, but later by these things, they used to drain me out. So with a strong heart, I had to set up the boundary between me and them. It was hard for me, but atleast I was at peace since after.
There are still few myths about making boundaries and retaining them at your own pace. For me, before setting a boundary, a thought just budded inside me was that am I becoming too rude or in the sense selfish, that I am thinking about me and forgetting about the world. But really at the end, it’s nothing at all like that because you want to enhance better relations for that willing to do something is always better. Second thought about setting boundary doesn’t mean you have to let go off people, infact you had actually introduced yourself to them and if people willing to understand you that way it’s the best thing ever that had happened to you.
I had failed too at setting a boundary and that to at the appropriate time, and knowing your limits within time is the most important thing one could do to himself/herself to feel like a sense of accomplishment in knowing yourself. Yes, at some part not setting boundaries has affected my social as well as professional life.
But there are some necessary ways which helped me to understand the importance of doing the right thing at the right time via setting boundaries :
1. Without knowing your limits, you can’t be able to understand where to start setting your boundary, so try to know yourself and give support to your feeling first.
2. You have to be fully aware of your feelings along with changed surroundings, whether you want to go with the same thing or need to fix/do something.
3. Try and practice to be positive and more above self-assured with true self to set impactable boundaries. Don’t hesitate to make yourself clear to another person.
So just try to know yourself better, giving priority to your feelings as well. Hope creating boundaries helps you at your best cause.