Something’s Got To Give So I Can Live

"I'm escaping I found a way to break through this cellophane bag" - lyrics from Living in a Box by Living in a Box

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Pineapple on the seashore
Photo by Adam Sidaway on Unsplash

In 2007 I quit my full-time job to become my mom’s caregiver. She had Alzheimer’s. I was homebound with her a lot of the time. She passed away in 2012. I went back to full-time work, but I struggled with bad health. Doctors couldn’t figure out what was eventually discovered to be hypothyroidism and pneumonia, to name just two of the ailments. Again, I was home because of my health. In 2018, I was finally getting good medical care and in 2019 I began to feel better. In 2020, COVID-19 hit and everyone went into lockdown. So I am home again, first beginning in 2007 until now….

I feel like I have been in a bubble. I’ve focused on my own interests. Whether that be reading books, watching YouTube videos, movies, and other forms of online entertainment. All of that did not include a lot of interaction with people. Now that many events are offered via Zoom, I’m becoming more social, however, it feels a bit artificial.

I was never an outcast, but all of this isolation is making me feel like one now. While I have always felt different, mainly because of my independent personality, I have never felt like an outsider.

It makes me wonder how many other people are feeling this way now that isolation is so common, among all ages. Seniors tend to have less friends as they are no longer in the working world, and families often move away, or pass away. They have it the worst. They are often left forgotten.

I’m now used to living this way. As I said, I’ve been doing this on and off since 2007. The lockdown has just been more of the same, an extension of my original isolation. While I was never a party girl, I did get out and about to events, movies, and all the other cultural offerings that were common in San Francisco. And I socialized and dated. I currently have an underlying sense of growing frustration from isolation.

Our leaders need to keep in mind that while we need to be safe from the COVID-19 virus, they also need to take into account our mental health. Too much isolation is suffocating. Let us live a little. We’ll be careful. We promise.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m ready to go beyond the fear and take my chances out in the world. I know to be careful by wearing a mask, keeping my distance, and washing my hands. I don’t want COVID, but if I get it, I’ll deal with it. I have to live.

I’m thankful for the lessening of many of our restrictions, such as allowing more indoor worship and gyms. And the restaurants that are offering takeout, and outside dining don’t know how much I appreciate that throwback to normalcy. We need more and more signs of hope like that.

Let’s keep up the faith with precautions.

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