People often think that confidence is a special trait that only a lucky few are born with and the rest of us are left in the dust wishing for. This is so NOT true. We see confidence as this fixed attribute that can’t be passed around, taught or learnt… but it doesn’t have to be like that.
The feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.
Confidence is the outcome of thoughts we think and the actions we then take. It is not based on your actual ability to succeed or complete a task but your belief in your ability to succeed. For example:
- Your belief in your ability to create an online course
- Your belief in your ability to learn a new tech skill
- Your belief in your ability to take on a new client
- Your belief in your ability to understand your finances
- Your belief in your ability to change job or career or start a business!
So, what do you do if you weren’t blessed with natural confidence? Well, the good news is that new research into neural plasticity reveals that we can literally rewire our brains in ways that affect our thoughts and behaviour at any age. This means that no matter how worried, shy or doubtful you have been up until now, if you take action you CAN change!
Psychologists believe that building self-confidence is volitional. Or to put it in simpler terms: “By choice.” But be warned, this won’t just work on the off chance, you will have to be consistent with your effort, and have the courage to take risks, only then can you gradually expand your confidence , and with it, your capacity to build more of it!
We all know that our confidence can rise and fall throughout our lives. We feel more confident after we experience a victory or when someone acknowledges our good work; then it takes a hit when we’re criticised, rejected or unable to complete a task to the given standard. That’s just how life is, all swings and roundabouts. That’s why it’s so important to not become totally dependant on external affirmations to give your self worth a boost. Instead, take ownership prop up our self-worth, but to take control and move forward with the best actions for sustaining your self worth and self confidence.
“Confidence is hard to define but easy to recognize. With it, you can take on the world; without it, you live stuck at the starting block of your potential.”Katty Kay and Claire Shipman, The Confidence Code
I meet so many great business women who feel like they’ve had the stuffing knocked out of them over the years. Confidence is something they feel they had and want to reconnect with. As a business coach I act as their no 1 fan, their cheerleader, the one who will rally and celebrate their successes, keep them accountable and hold their toes to the fire. I ask the difficult questions and challenge their thinking. All the time cheering them on and building them and their confidence up!