The first step for me in conquering fear in life and death is simply to show up.
My friend Wilford Williamson passed away on October 17, 2019. I learned of his death from my ex-wife, Ruthie on her birthday, October 23rd.
Wilford’s services were on October 25th. I do not like funerals, especially when there is an open casket. There was of course an open casket.
I went alone, intentionally. I knew I needed to show up, not for Wil but for his family and mine.
Wil’s son Geordi and my son Ben were best friends from ages 6 through 13. They shared a love of trains, a mutual friend connected our families. When we first connected Wil and April were married and Ruthie and I were married.
During the course of the boy’s relationship we both divorced and remained connected. The divorced parents retained relationships with each other.
Wil was a great role model for my son who has two moms.
I told my daughter about Wil’s death via phone as she is away at college. I told my son in person. It was the first time in his 16 years someone he knew and remembered had passed. He acknowledged his sadness for himself and Geordi.
I told him that I went to the funeral, spoke, and gave Geordi and April a hug and a card. I showed up. I conquered my fears. I showed up and talked to my ex-wife and teens.
Feel the fear and show up anyway. It is the only way to live an authentic life.