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Show up in Life and Death

The first step for me in conquering fear in life and death is simply to show up. My friend Wilford Williamson passed away on October 17, 2019. I learned of his death from my ex-wife, Ruthie on her birthday, October 23rd. Wilford’s services were on October 25th. I do not like funerals, especially when there […]

The first step for me in conquering fear in life and death is simply to show up.

My friend Wilford Williamson passed away on October 17, 2019. I learned of his death from my ex-wife, Ruthie on her birthday, October 23rd.

Wilford’s services were on October 25th. I do not like funerals, especially when there is an open casket. There was of course an open casket.

I went alone, intentionally. I knew I needed to show up, not for Wil but for his family and mine.

Wil’s son Geordi and my son Ben were best friends from ages 6 through 13. They shared a love of trains, a mutual friend connected our families. When we first connected Wil and April were married and Ruthie and I were married.

During the course of the boy’s relationship we both divorced and remained connected. The divorced parents retained relationships with each other.

Wil was a great role model for my son who has two moms.

I told my daughter about Wil’s death via phone as she is away at college. I told my son in person. It was the first time in his 16 years someone he knew and remembered had passed. He acknowledged his sadness for himself and Geordi.

I told him that I went to the funeral, spoke, and gave Geordi and April a hug and a card. I showed up. I conquered my fears. I showed up and talked to my ex-wife and teens.

Feel the fear and show up anyway. It is the only way to live an authentic life.

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