Greetings Loves! I’m Adamaris Mendoza, psychotherapist, entrepreneur and expert video content creator. As part of my From Invisible to Authority series, we need to discuss what drives people to be invisible. I want you to overcome fear, visibility and video. As a professional, you may be looking for creative ways to make money from online. Using your zone of genius to brand you as the go to expert in your field. You are a woman that takes what you do seriously and has an important message for the world.
Being Seen and Heard is Key in Becoming the Go To Expert in Your Field
Today we’re going be talking about visibility and video and live stream. Why? Here are some good reasons:
1. YouTube is the second most used search engine and owned by the parent company of Google.
2. In Facebook ads, video get more clicks, more engagement and can lead to more sales.
3. 68% of U.S. adults report that they are Facebook users, with roughly three-quarters being daily active users.
4. Instagram has over 1 billion monthly users.
This is the reason you’ve been told by business coaches and everybody else you need to do more video. You need to use speaking, you need to do all those things that require you to step up. Furthermore, to be visible and in order to grow your business, we must take your business to another level. Likewise, we all know, especially in the social media era, that we need to be more visible.
Above all, doing video the “right way” (aligns with your expertise and brand feel) can really have incremental benefits, taking your business to a whole other crazy level. So, if you need help in that arena this is arena you’ve come to the perfect place. This came as a natural progression in the process of helping my clients up level their exposure and sementing their expert status.
With my clients, once we’ve identified their zone of genius and created their product/services offering, content and structure. We then focus on what’s stopping them from increasing their visibility by making videos and live streams.
Share Your Experience
Helping others sharing your knowledge and expertise is what you want, but you are stuck on the how. In your niche, you are the Rockstar that can blow anyone away in one-to-one. The question is, why is getting out there and being seen by creating videos or lives so difficult and frightening? That is a key piece for you to really expand your business and make a whole lot more money. What is really stopping you?
If you follow me at all, you know getting out there, really showing up like I am now, is how I grew my 6+-figure international coaching/consulting business.
My “secret formula”. I show up, share my knowledge and expertise with my audience. As a result, I create a relationship and trust with my audience full of potential clients. Certainly, you know that this is an integral part of taking your business to the next level. And if you still doubt it a little. Watch, all the big, successful social media platforms are moving more and more to prioritize video content. YouTube, Instagram Stories and Facebook Lives are all video.
Consequently, those who dominate these exposure mediums will be the ones experiencing the business growth now and in the future. For that very reason, creating video and doing live stream is so important in connecting with your audience. Just like you do in a one-on-one setting. But with massive scaling, your reach is so much more than what’s possible for you to do in person. Nothing replaces the feelings and emotions being triggered when you’re talking directly to your people and they can see and hear you.
The Reasons We Fear Visibility and Exposure
First, we need to dig deep about why there is an aura of uncomfortableness with making video and promoting ourselves. Basically, there is a form of fear of, or from success. Being afraid of success though, we need to delve further. Do something about it and not just recognize that it exists.
Invisibility keeps you safe, protects you by making you shrink and keeping you playing small. To understand the fear that comes with visibility, we must understand vulnerability. Each decision, choice or step taken to showing up in a bigger way means moving away from safety.
But by hiding, staying small, and avoiding growth, we say no to profits, no to the things we dream about and no to having more real financial freedom. Being safe protects you from having to open up and become vulnerable which leaves you exposed to judgement and criticism. On the other hand, it will also keep you from growing your audience, attracting more clients and making more money.
So often, we prevent ourselves from welcoming and embracing the very thing we’ve been asking for. Even I did that for the longest time. I wanted success, more money, freedom to travel the world on my own terms, and to help more women experience the same but I was hiding more than I was showing up. My breakthrough really came from working with a mentor. Rediscover my mission and allowing myself to feel and be fueled by the passion of helping women discover true freedom by inviting possibilities and opportunities in money, business and love.
Playing small, staying comfortable, moving unseen and lacking vulnerability prevent the experience of growth that lead to freedom.
The Reasons We Fear Failure
Criticism is a powerful way society keeps us inline with everyone else and maintains the status quo. Will my coworkers from corporate, my neighbors or even *gasp* my family see and criticize what I put out there? What will they think? Who are you to call yourself an expert?
People want to go live, have a million views while having, at the exact same time, no one see it or them. My clients have said they want to create an audience to grow their business, but block themselves from executing the strategy that would help them do exactly that.
The past at work
Perhaps your parents were too busy with work or just trying to figure life themselves to pay attention to you and your needs, or you were bullied in school or constantly told by your teachers you were not smart enough and you created a mental picture of not being worthy or good enough. Maybe in your time in corporate not getting a job offer, being passed over for promotion or failing to secure a client made you reinforce the belief you were unworthy. And that wanting success was dangerous because it led to disappointment and pain.
Now you hide and avoid, because you don’t want others to see you fall flat on your face. They will KNOW. Maybe they say, see, she really wasn’t an expert, she really wasn’t a success. That train of though is a lie, downright destructive and squashing your opportunities for growth and expansion.
What if nobody shows up. Could I fail big time? …
My clients often ask me, “What if I go live and one person shows up?” That’s totally possible when you’re first starting out. When I was growing my business, I remember doing Facebook lives in which maybe three to five people were watching and no one commented. And then one of those people would message me and end up becoming a client, making that a 3000-5000 dollar video. Was it worth showing up, even though I was scared? Of course, it was worth it. It’s about opening up and embracing the possibilities. Even though you may be feeling scared and your current circumstances don’t look promising. Having faith in you, your zone of genius, the process and being consistent is part of it.
Then I would re-purpose that live video by creating and posting in other places using it as writing ideas for blogs or social media posts. So from that one live, the small amount who showed up, two became clients. That’s an amazing return on investment, right? Remember that you need to have when you hit Live, share, upload or post. Even if nobody’s watching, you’re still being successful.
What if I succeed?
There’s always the fear that once you find some success, you’re just doing it to fail and lose it all. And believe me, that may sound weird. But I’ve work with thousands of women, that underlying fear is real and keeps so many from taking the necessary risks that are required for growth. Another huge fear of success is not sustainable exists. The fear of being a “One-hit wonders” resides within us. Being ostracized by the people we know and care about is another huge fear.
As crazy as that sounds. “What if I succeed and I don’t have as much time for my family? Will they think I don’t love them anymore?” “Do my friends think I believe I’m better than them or what if they start asking me for money?” “Could my kids think I don’t love them as much as my business if I have to travel more?” These are all very common hidden fears of success that women are facing today as the landscape of leadership is shifting.
Your Subconscious Mind Fears the What it knows
The conscious mind may say you feel safe while the subconscious can trigger worry, anxiousness and fear. Fears of success and failure can stem from a deep seated fear of how we’ve perceived past experiences. Every past event stored in your mind. Maybe it was being laughed at while forgetting a line in a school play or your parents disapproving of who you were as a teen or being criticized because of your physical appearance, the pain of those experiences are stored in your mind and body. So when you talk about showing up in a bigger way, that means opening up to being vulnerable. Your mind automatically goes to “pain”. It wants to protect you from experiencing that pain again. Like pulling your hand from a hot stove, you avoid the pain and doubt.
That’s why when as an adult, you try to do video, live stream, or even be a speaker at an event, the old feelings… you just…can’t. You’re so nervous you become blank and sick to your stomach. The manifestation of things, like missing your flight, losing your voice or even getting headaches show up. All in an effort from your subconscious to stop you from being vulnerable and experience pain.
The Benefits of Playing Small
By not embracing success, do I get to avoid reaching my goal, the dream, the successful business or financial freedom?
What do I get to avoid by being more visible? Do I get something for holding back? If I’m not visible enough, if I don’t put myself out there are less risks. But is that really what you want? Do you want to keep limiting your potential and make every year “Groundhog Day?”
Some coaches might tell you to just hustle and push through the process. Triggering all sorts of physical illnesses and self-sabotage through the chaos of the conscious and subconscious mind going against each other is not what we want, however. Acknowledging and facing the fear while uncovering the reasons why is being triggered in the first place is a more efficient way to address it and to move forward with ease and flow.
Understanding and Accepting
We all have fears. More so, will always have fears. If someone, a coach or anybody promises you that they’re going help you eliminate your fears…well…that’s just unnatural and impossible.
You cannot eliminate your fears, you will always have fears. Every time that you take the next step in your life, every time that you up-level every time that you’re working towards growth and expansion, it requires another level of risk. Another level of being vulnerable will trigger your fear. It’s inevitable, it will happen.
Not such thing as fearlessness
There are people thrive in the feeling of anxiety and fear, because they’ve been used to the secretion of adrenaline. They’ve been taught (like I was) that you need to overcome and conquer fear. But that leads to overwhelm and exhaustion because you’re enthralled in a constant battle with yourself. Some people, seek that high level of adrenaline and so they thrive on fear.
Not fearless because they feel and crave the sensation. They did not really overcome fear, just became comfortable and used to the euphoric feeling and now crave it. So they’re not likely to hide in the face of risk but the opposite. That’s why comparing yourself with others is not the way to go. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and life experiences and have been taught and learned how to approach situations differently.
Worth and Value
Worth is not calculated by your net worth or come from your network size. Your value is unlimited. Often, our worth can feel projected from others, through rejection and even our successes. It can be a rejection/reflection self-defeating cycle we create, because we deem ourselves unworthy.
Part of this cycle can make you want to be unseen, so you barely promote yourself , your business, purpose and message. Remember that nothing you do or don’t do will diminish your worth. Open yourself, embrace the new and be ready to feel uncomfortable. Being an entrepreneur, being in a relationship, making money: there is always a risk. Likewise, there can be an incredible reward. Just get comfortable with being uncomfortable for the entrepreneurship life.
Stop Judging Yourself
Above all, don’t judge yourself if you say, “I’ve been trying and it’s just so hard”. If you need support, seek an expert. People learn in different ways. Reading a book is great (I love reading), you can take a digital course but most people truly successful people seek the support, mentorship and guidance of an expert to show them what they can’t see. Remember that you are a courageous and powerful woman already to come as far as you have.
Just don’t stop, don’t quit. Don’t believe that it’s not possible because you feel that way, because I guarantee you 100% that you can move through it. I did, and I was terrible, hiding most of my life. Being the center of attention was something I DID NOT want. Working in the background, staying on the fringes of someone else’s success were ways that I remained invisible.
The realization came. If I don’t step up, be vulnerable and allow people to see me, I could never help anyone and fulfill my purpose in life. My freedom was tied to other people’s values, judgement, expectations and vision. Acknowledging and facing that fear of estimations and expectations was the very thing that liberated me to experience real freedom in life.
The freedom to create and share what was inside of me. To create and grow a business that provided the finances I needed to live my dream and the same time was the medium that supported and guided thousands of women along their own path. When my perceived benefits outweighed my perceive loss from getting out the shadows and background, I saw the light. From invisible to authority, that triggered the shift.
Share this message, have a great day Ladies. Love you all. Kisses!