One of my sister and my all-time favorite songs is “Show me Love” by Robin S. When we’re together, we’ll turn it on at the most random time, pump up the volume and go into full on dance mode. This somehow managed to even take place over the holiday on Christmas night in our kitchen, after maybe one too many glasses of wine…

One of the reasons I think this song resonates with me so much is because the lyrics are SO TRUE, “words are so easy to say…you’ve got to show me love.” If someone loves and cares for you, (friend or significant other) they will show you. My dad used to tell us all the time growing up, “it doesn’t matter what people say, their actions will always show you who they are.” What I also know, is people will show you they care in ways that are unique to them, there’s no right way. But that feeling you feel will always be there. And part of that recognition is understanding what you need, and being honest with yourself when those needs aren’t being met.

I’ve been in relationships where I’ve needed more than what was capable for my partner and I’ve been in relationships where they’ve needed more than what I was able to give. Everyone has their own experiences but what is universal to all of us are the little (sometimes big) things deep within all of the complexities a relationship brings, that we need to feel like our best selves, and to give that same love in return.

I think it’s important to remember that regardless of what is given and/or what is received in a relationship, we are all human. Sometimes the rose colored glasses we wear in our relationships are so blinding, that we lose sight of what we deserve — and that’s okay. We just need to make sure that as soon as that sight is restored, we take the time to restore ourselves, which could include walking away from a situation that does not uplift you and make you feel like your best self.

For every girl (or guy) who isn’t getting what you know you need, or don’t quite know what that thing is yet, put on that dress you feel like Beyoncé in (Rihanna if you’re feeling naughty), step out with your friends this weekend, and don’t be afraid of shining on your own for a little while until you figure it out.