When we talk about inheritance at Bright Arrow, we are not talking about money. Your inheritance consists of the beliefs, fears, stereotypes, and habits you were led to believe are yours.
We all inherit stories. We all come to believe and follow rules. We often ascribe to these and they go unchanged. While this is part of being human, if we don’t become conscious of and mindfully craft our belief system, we can buy into things that are not only untrue, but can prevent us from living a fully realized life.
If you look at the landscape of your life, from childhood to now, can you identify areas where you’ve inherited a set of beliefs? These often revolve around the “big items” in life like:
Take a few minutes and write one or two sentences that you believe to be true about each of these. What does success look like? What constitutes a healthy marriage? What do you believe about spirituality? How do you feel about money? Continue in this manner until you’ve finished the list.
Based on your answers, decide which “stories” you’d like to keep and those you’d like to shed. For those you want to shed, ask yourself how you inherited the rule, story, or belief in the first place. Is what you believe really yours, or has it been passed down from your parents, your religion, your friends, your partners, advertising, or even society in general?
For each of these beliefs, identify the intention behind the belief.
Example: My parents’ intention in passing this belief to me was to protect me.
Example: My ex-partner and I co-created this story in our lives so that I felt small and she felt empowered to be in control.
Once you understand the intention behind the belief, identify what you want to shed. Then, write a new rule, story, or belief for each that is in your highest good and best serves you on your journey.
Example to shed: In social relationships, I have to be positive all the time in order for people to like me and want to be around me.
Example to rewrite: By being authentic (and sometimes vulnerable) in my social relationships, I also nurture myself.
This model literally changed my entire path in life. (That isn’t an exaggeration.) Based on my upbringing, I shouldn’t be living this full, beautiful life I get to call my own. But I am. And this exercise was a first step in highlighting what was no longer serving me and writing a new story that allowed me to live my best life.
If you’ve never evaluated and rewritten your stories, give it a try. It will change your life.
Originally published at www.brightarrowcoaching.com