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She Was Genuine

She did not have to be ashamed in fighting to save what in the end could not be saved.

He once told her that she was amazing. He used words such as gorgeous, beautiful and unbelievable. She felt all those when he spoke. He would tell her he was in awe of her.

But that was then. She tried her hardest to be all those things for him again. She planned a romantic night, she made him dinner, and she was sure to let him know how she felt about him. It didn’t seem to be enough.

She dreaded asking him the question. But finally forced herself to do so. He told her that she was no longer a priority to him. His choice of words cut through her heart like a hot knife slices through butter.

She tried to plead her case to him. She tried to remind him of how he once felt. She knew that she was babbling. She hoped that if she could just keep talking it would not end. He told her he needed time. He would call tomorrow.

Alas she was not worth the call, but just some typed words from a phone. She didn’t want to dwell on the words so she immediately pressed delete. The words were floating around even after delete, words that included, “I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m done. I’m being blunt. Separate ways.”

It was done. She was in awe of how he chose to handle this, as he had proclaimed previously that he would never stoop as low as those who hurt her before. He was truthful in that statement, he stooped lower, as she didn’t know that there was a more clever way to hurt her, but he found a way in using the same method others before him had used while knowing the pain it had caused her.

She cried. She felt like a fool for trying to keep him. She was prepared to wallow in this new level of low. But then she stopped in her tracks to destruction and realized she had nothing to be ashamed of. She fought to keep him and told him she cared for him. She recalled words once told to her, “Whatever you do today, you have to sleep with tonight.”

For the first time in weeks of feeling uneasy, she slept. She slept a deep sleep, as she was sincere and genuine with her intentions. And she wanted to follow Her Father’s example, as He was gracious to her countless times, she wanted to walk in the same grace.

She prayed to a God who came to this world as a Man… a Man who could relate to her feelings of rejection, as He felt the ultimate rejection. She found comfort in Him. She knew she was going to be okay, as even though she knew she fell short, He died on a cross for her.  

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- MARCUS AURELIUS

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