“The life you live is the outward expression of your inner journey.”~ Will Craig, Living the Hero’s Journey
Is your mind drowning under the depth of countless thoughts? Is your self-worth inclined towards worthlessness?
Your Inner Journey
If you feel any of these, it’s time to loosen up. Relax because you are not fighting this battle alone. There are many like you and me on the same leaky boat.
The Final Destination of Your Inner Journey
Allow me to introduce a walk inside my inner journey that led me to my final destination- self-love.
1. Self Exploration
The first step in unleashing my best version was obviously his discovery.
Who was he?
Yes, ‘I was not him’ back then.
The real me was hiding deep down inside.
And that makes self-exploration the biggest leap of all the subsequent steps.
Knew I need to get off the mind to jump into the soul, but I was miles away from doing that. I didn’t know the way out either.
After all, we are talking about inner travel, never knew ‘travel’ has a new meaning altogether.
How well do you know the word ‘travel’?
We find the word ‘travel’ exciting, but remember traveling is not confined to exploring the outside world. Party destinations, Relaxing beaches, adventurous treks, – these are the subjects of outside travel.
Does the inner journey excite you?
This excitement lacks in most of us, was deficient in me too.
Here’s how my ignorance turned into excitement to know myself
Only a few are fearless about death, but I belonged to the majority. And my fear grew stronger every time I read headlines of unpredictable deaths by disastrous accidents, brutal crimes, fatal diseases. It left deep bruises on my mind.
But the more I read these pieces of news, the more I got habitual to facing my fears. And gradually, I realized more than death; I fear its unpredictable nature.
Just when I tweaked the way I look at death, I changed the way of looking at life. I accepted the ultimate truth ‘death’ gracefully, the fear of which once ruled my life.
It led to the curiosity to know myself, detached from anyone and anything. I wanted to experience life before I die.
I took a conscious step. Be it positive or negative, I started observing my thoughts, and started expressing them in a diary.
This is when I entered the next level.
2. Self Awareness
The deeper I self-explored, the lengthier got the paragraphs in my diary. When there was enough of scribbling which could reflect my real self, I turned the pages for a retrospection.
Oh… that wasn’t a pretty face.
I found there was much more negativity than positivity, which was cowardly hiding inside. I couldn’t recognize my face, which I boasted as beautiful.
I was not used to tasting my venom, and it kind of embarrassed me. It was a tough phase actually, to cannot see a hero in the mirror of self-awareness. I knew by now transformation isn’t an easy process.
Though I could not stand, I was determined to walk, to reach the roots of negativity.
I didn’t run away but closely observed my negative thoughts. I found that the emotion fuelling negativity inside me was anger.
I was resolute to know more, to dig in deeper to crack the reason for my anger. It shocked me when I reached there.
It was my poor soul crying out loud in pain. And when nobody could listen, they called it anger. Actually, I needed acceptance, but my only problem was I had been seeking it from people.
I had reached a stage where I could fake nothing. I knew myself, all truths uncovered, every myth busted. It was time to accept myself as I was.
‘How could I accept a person in my life I dislike?’- the inability to answer this question obstructed every attempt to move ahead. I had to do something quickly.
It’s interesting what I did.
When accepting truth became a challenge, I pursued help from a lie. Every time I looked into the mirror of self-awareness, I faked a smile, followed by a fake hello.
Sounds a small gesture, but you wary the challenge, particularly when the mirror reflects the person you dislike.
But I thought if I could fake it with others, I can do it for my sake too. I had gone much far to accept people, leaving behind the one who needs acceptance the most.
It was time to hold back and greet myself with a smile. Seeking a lot of courage and patience initially, it became an effortless habit soon. I could sense the fake smiles transform into heartfelt greetings.
I was becoming an integral part of my life. I could feel the sense of self-worth building up. I started realizing I am not as bad as I accuse myself to be.
I finally reached there where I was not harsh to myself, even started liking a few things about myself.
I was valuable to me, and now, it was the time to fall in love with none other than myself.
Your Final Destination: Self Love
Once I beheld onto self-acceptance, all the good things were effortlessly leading my way.
I was not judging myself anymore. My abilities didn’t boast, my mistakes seemed human. I treated my strengths and weaknesses the same way- Normal. I looked at happiness and sadness the same way- Normal. I accepted positivity and negativity the same way- Normal.
I was not carried away by moments that previously swallowed my thinking. Self-humiliating thoughts reached the dead end, and with that, left the self-punishing thoughts.
I accepted the fact: All are epitomes of imperfections, and that’s the beauty of every individual.
Sellf-acceptance leads to consciousness, and I was feeling better, a lot happier, a lot complete with each passing day. I was not vulnerable to negative influences anymore.
It led to big self-realization: I was too much attached to myself, the reason I was loving less, and suffering.
And here, I decided to treat my smaller self like my best friend seeking advice. I started valuing my existence and soon; I was in love with the mirror of self-awareness.
This is how I reached my inner journey’s dream destination- self-love.
This piece was originally published on Purpose Fairy