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Security: Emotional and Financial

Control Your Feelings of Security

I know that I speak for most if not all of us when I say, “Emotional and financial security are constant struggles in our lives.” This sentiment may ring the most true for those just beginning their adult life and entering the workforce.

If we consider that security is an inherent core need for all human beings then we begin to work through the struggles to achieve security.

Security is commonly defined as the state of being free from danger or threat. The desire for security comes from a need to feel comfortable and secure in multiple aspects of our lives.

Security stems from the need to survive. If we break that down further, we can take a look at how our brains are wired. The modern brain is over 2 million years old and it not designed to make you happy. It’s designed for survival. Imagine that. Our primary organ keeping our bodies operating is over 2 million years old and is the command center for your nervous system, passing messages to and from your brain to various parts of the body. The prehistoric feeling of attack no longer comes in the form of a saber-toothed tiger, but rather in the form of not being sure we can make this month’s rent, not being sure we can make the next train, or not being sure we can pay that bill on time, meet that deadline or or or or or. You get the point. Still at some subconscious level, we behave as though there is a saber-toothed tiger waiting to attack.

Once you realize what your brain is actually reacting to, you become more conscious. Be aware. Be awake. Be present. Once you realize your reactions are actually OVER reactions then you can step back and chill out.

I am not saying chill out to the point where you set yourself up for emotional or financial issues or failure. Now take a moment to realize everything will work out in the end. EVERYTHING. Realize life is happening for you NOT to you. Realize the challenges you encounter in life are really just there to help you grow. Because you CAN overcome EVERY challenge. It’s not what the challenge does to you, it’s what you do to the challenge, and what emphasis you put on that challenge. If you see every challenge in life as a growing opportunity, you will grow. If you see any challenge as breaking you down to an ultimate failure, it will do just that.

And I certainly don’t mean to sound all frou frou and tell you to go chant “there’s no problems, there’s no problems, there’s no problems,” and magically there won’t be any problems. I’m saying, find the problem and smash it. Re-shape it. Re-form it in your mind. And make it a growing opportunity because life is happening for us not to us.

Where focus goes energy flows. Here’s an example. When you learn to drive Formula One race cars, the first thing the driving instructor teaches you is how to avoid a crash. They get you up to about 50 mph, which is quite slow for racing yet feels extremely fast on a spin out, and then they purposefully whip your steering wheel to spin you out. You, in a panic, are headed straight for the wall of the race track. And naturally, you look right at that wall. The instructor will grab your chin and turn your head away from the wall. Because where you put your focus, your car will go.  Naturally, as we are about to crash, we will look at the wall. But if you look away from that wall at where you want your car to go, you can then course correct with the steering wheel and recover from the spin out.

Try this correction in your life. Focus on where you want to go, NOT where you are headed in that moment. I promise you will course correct quite quickly and recover exactly the way YOU want to.

You will then truly be in control of your own life.

Don’t be reactionary.

Don’t just survive.

Be in control. 

Thrive.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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