Many people get hung up on ‘finding’ who they are. Here’s the secret, you don’t have to find her; BE her.
A few years ago, I was doing a lot of inner work. I was, in a way, befriending my younger self. I’ve even called it ‘dating myself.’ The point was to get to know myself and sometimes, I just had to invent myself as I was.
What Is Inner Work?
When doing inner work, we identify the source of our negative emotions by tracing them back to the source, then rewrite our story so the same story of our past doesn’t cause negative emotions in our present. As a result, you will enjoy more freedom from fear and have a more balanced and happy life. Each time a negative emotion presents itself, rewrite your story and watch as your life becomes better with each story from your past you rewrite.
Begin the process.
We often hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations. Each of us is on a crazy journey and we don’t always understand it but we need to believe in ourselves and believe that there is more out there for us. We try to understand what we want and who we want to be and we try to let go of things and become better versions of ourselves. I call this the exploratory phase.
Give yourself permission to explore, which means that it’s okay if you try something new today. We all want success and happiness instantaneously. We want it last year, but we’re not always doing what we need to do. We’re not listening to what we need to hear and we waste time comparing ourselves to everyone around us. When we step back and accept that we are right where we need to be, even if that isn’t as far along as someone else, then the Universe provides for us and we begin to see our own progress.
Many of us grew up in a family or a community in which society mapped out our lives. Society dictated the actions necessary in order to be successful and we grew up with the misconception that following society’s plan is the only option.
You don’t have to follow society’s order of events, which is to graduate high school, go to college, find a mate, have babies, etc. You need to follow your own path. Let yourself be guided by your inner light.
You have a choice.
➜ You decide who you want to be.
➜ You decide what you want to do.
➜ You decide who you want to be with.
How did I get to this state of being?
- I let go of the regret and shame.
- I let go of thinking that I failed because of all my ‘wrong’ decisions.
- I started to accept myself as I am.
- I got to know myself.
Accept that the person you are and the person you want to be are not the same at the moment. You’ve done the best you could with what you’ve had and with what you’ve known. You had to learn through experience but you can be proud that now, you know. You know what you can do differently. You know how to do better… so DO BETTER.
Find courage, motivation, and inspiration in new places. Act from your soul. When you become self-aware, you realize how you’re shortchanging yourself. You realize where you’re still limiting yourself. Forgive yourself.
You have to put the (inner) work in but when you no longer force yourself to think positively, force yourself to feel happy, force yourself to take action, then you will truly open up to the Universe and the Universe will open up to you.
- What is it that I’m not letting myself see?
- What is it that I’m not letting myself hear?
- What is it that I’m not letting myself feel?
- What do I want?
- What do I need?
The answers are within you.
It is a combination of both darkness and light that makes us who we are. As we begin to evolve, release programming that we were fed throughout our lives and continue to peel back our layers, we gain self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love. From there, we can begin our journeys to who we are meant to be.
You will look in the mirror and realize she’s been there all along.