Say ciao to the Casanova of negativity

In your divorce and life

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Negativity envelopes us-Image courtesy-Gratisography

“He’s such a jerk, he ruined my life”,”….. “If I hadn’t married him I would have become an author”, “She’s the one who is a control freak”, “If she hadn’t put on so much weight I wouldn’t have slept with another woman”…. “I wish she would just drop dead”…. “I hope he dies a painful death”…. These are snatches of conversations that are oft repeated in and out of courtrooms, social gatherings,parties,supermarkets,lawyer’s chambers,bars,nightclubs,coffee shops,subways,in a friend’s home…the settings may change but the text of the conversation remains the same-NEGATIVITY

The seductiveness of negativity is irresistible and it lulls us into a false sense of complacency about our true untapped potential. When negativity dominates our narratives we become victims of the self-fulfilling prophecy where we expect nothing but an unhappy ending. This eases the pressure on us to succeed because we are expecting nothing, but failure. So what happens to our true potential? It becomes a conquest of the negativity Casanova-probably its billionth. Whilst the Casanova goes about notching another number on its bedpost our true potential is relegated to the garbage dump and it keeps getting buried deeper, with the passage of time. Till one fine day, it’s too deep to even try bother looking for it and all for the sake of a one night stand with the negativity Casanova.

But a one night stand needn’t define our entire life and the power to change the narrative is in our hands. Well, actually in our thoughts. It would be easy once we free ourselves from the clutches of the negativity Casanova and embrace the positivity in our life. As a starting point, it can just be a simple thought like, “Well, thank God I was born a human being and not an animal, so I have the power of choice”, because Hindus believe that the human form is the highest and you are born as a human being after going through 8.4 million cycles of birth and death, similarly most religions and science also believe that the human form is the highest and just to fritter it away on negativity is unfathomable. If we just manage to hold on to that one positive thought, it’s a small beginning and from thereon the journey towards positivity commences.

Diwali sweets- Image courtesy -Unsplash

It takes just one positive thought to initiate a chain reaction towards realizing our true potential. About 15 years ago, around Diwali, which is the festival of lights, my world was plunged in the gloomy darkness of a bitter divorce-worse than WW 22000, my bank account was almost empty, and with both my parents dead, life just didn’t seem worth it. My ray of positivity came in the form of my house help Bobby, who sliced through the heaviness of the gloom and said, “I have a Diwali gift for you. I have made some Diwali sweets for you”, and I just burst out crying. They were tears of joy, as I looked at her, this poor woman who lived in a tiny hovel near my home, but was so rich in her thoughts. I suddenly realized that even though so much was wrong with my life but there was so much to look forward to in life. I forgot all about my despair, rather I just set my despair aside and decided to pen down my thoughts about my marriage in my diary which later became the book 360 degrees back to life-endorsed by the great Gloria Steinem. After that, my life has taken so many twists and turns that I find it difficult to believe that I have done so much and there’s so much more to do ….all it took was keeping the negativity at bay.

When I hear the inspirational stories of sports icons,authors,writers,teachers,self-made men and women, everyday heroes, the learnings are clear-BE POSITIVE RATHER THAN NEGATIVE. So remember that each time that Casanova comes to seduce you run into the arms of the sexy lover- positivity.

Till next time live life-EMPRESSIZE

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


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