Everything is Balance — Make sure that you create a work, life balance and stick to it. You won’t be popular if you build this amazing business but your family and friends never see you.This is an area I still struggle with, just because I love what I do, so I find it hard to shut off but remember why you’re doing it and make sure you build in down time. This is a job for life so make sure you have a life as well. Your soul will thank you for it.
Many successful people reinvented themselves in a later period in their life. Jeff Bezos worked in Wall Street before he reinvented himself and started Amazon. Sara Blakely sold office supplies before she started Spanx. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson was a WWE wrestler before he became a successful actor and filmmaker. Arnold Schwarzenegger went from a bodybuilder, to an actor to a Governor. McDonald’s founder Ray Croc was a milkshake-device salesman before starting the McDonalds franchise in his 50’s.
How does one reinvent themselves? What hurdles have to be overcome to take life in a new direction? How do you overcome those challenges? How do you ignore the naysayers? How do you push through the paralyzing fear?
In this series called “Second Chapters; How I Reinvented Myself In The Second Chapter Of My Life “ we are interviewing successful people who reinvented themselves in a second chapter in life, to share their story and help empower others.
As a part of this interview series, I had the pleasure of interviewing Ruth Petralifi.
Ruth is a Transformational Hypnotherapist and Soul Connector. Through her business Exquisitely Enough™, she offers deep inner transformation for female high achieving entrepreneurs and celebrities. Ruth gives guidance on how to finally release limiting core beliefs, heal the body on multiple levels and be able to connect to your higher self at soul level. She offers a life free from self- doubt and sabotage and instead, one of true happiness, peace and freedom.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we start, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I am a former wild child who was brought up in a recording studio in the 70’s and then partied hard within the heart of London’s celebrity culture in the 90’s. I chose attending Soho parties with my famous stepdad, over focusing on my studies. I’ve always been a bit of a rebel. My real dad left home when I was a baby and I was raised by the best stepdad in the world, legendary Hawkwind drummer, Martin Griffin. I had an unusual kind of upbringing, living with my Mum, two brothers and Martin in a Cornish recording studio. We had bands visiting every week, plus there were plenty of parties, festivals and music tours in my life. I was really lucky to have such a fun childhood.
In my early teens, I sought out and surrounded myself in an environment of chaos and always held myself back even though I knew I had a bigger purpose. I had no confidence. No self-esteem. I couldn’t talk to anyone about how I felt. I think this was probably when my depression started but I didn’t know that then.
Over the years, I’ve really struggled to find my place in life and have suffered multiple breakdowns. I’ve had to undergo many forms of soul searching to find answers in my life. It’s only now, at the age of 44, that I think I’ve started to find them.
Can you please give us your favourite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“Life is ironic. It takes depression to know happiness. It takes stress to understand calm. It takes absence to value presence.” DAILY HEALTH POST
This quote really engenders everything that has happened in my life.
Last year, I hit the darkest of days as my business, a beach resort in Greece, was thrown into question due to Covid 19 and grief completely encompassed me from the death of my stepdad. I had no hope for the future. I felt lost, crippled with self-doubt, exhausted and bereft of happiness. But that huge life-changing moment gave me answers.
I am now a woman driven by passion and purpose, supercharged by my own turbulent journey to self-discovery. After having connected more closely to my core energy and explored the powers of quantum hypnosis, I have become a qualified Transformational Hypnotherapist and Soul Connector.
By blending my own experiences with a multi-faceted set of coaching qualifications, I have devised my groundbreaking, Soul Connector Signature Method™ which links together the concept of transformational hypnosis and quantum physics. This allows the brain to enter an extremely powerful transformative state. It takes you to a place where no past or future exists and where you have the power to manifest anything you desire into your life.
You have been blessed with much success. In your opinion, what are the top three qualities that you possess that have helped you accomplish so much? If you can, please share a story or example for each.
The recent death of my stepdad resulted in me having a massive breakdown. I had to start questioning myself and my life far more deeply than I had ever done before.
By undergoing deep transformative hypnotherapy, I started to see the patterns of self-sabotage which spanned 35 years of an absolute belief that I was just not good enough or loveable or worthy enough and that I did not deserve any of the good things that I wanted in life.
I started to question my very origin in life. Did I have a problem that my real father left me when I was a baby? I suddenly came to realise that this was a massive influence on my need for affection and validation from men throughout my teens. But I just couldn’t understand how he, my real dad, could have such a profound impact on my life when I’d had my stepfather in his place?
I found the strength and courage to dig deep and go on a journey of self-discovery. I learnt that it’s the events that we interpret from our unconscious minds that can do the most damage when quite often the event has been long forgotten or suppressed. It can then cause a chain of similar events that then show us we must be right thinking that way and they become more and more events that just pile on pain. Usually, negative self- talk and self-sabotage then become the norm and the loop continues.
When you watch a close family member fade away before your very eyes, it changes you on a fundamental level. This confrontation with death and the reality of that one moment between life and death, watching your absolute hero disappear from your life, had a profound effect on me.
During the breakdown which followed, I felt my stepfather all around me, finding ways to communicate with me through mediums and delivering messages on my iPad. I was open to receiving these messages telling me that I needed to rebuild myself and take some time out, so I checked into a hotel for four days to recover. Here I felt a calling to mediate daily and clear my chakra system and although this was something I had never done before, found it extremely powerful. I believe that you have to remain open to everything. If we keep our channels open to our higher selves then anything is possible and we can find ourselves in the best situations and new paths unfold. It also taught me to start to speak your truth. If you can be open about the good and the bad in life, you are able to reach so many more people and hopefully impact their lives for the better.
In my younger years when I was dating, I was choosing boyfriends that would treat me badly or let me down and I found that I was seeking out meaningless relationships so that I could have some form of power over them. I realised that I was playing a dangerous game but believed it was all I deserved and deep down it was all I knew.
As a result my self-sabotage started with a dependency on drugs from an early age until my early 30’s.
I entered a vicious cycle of taking drugs to cover up all the bad things I was doing in my life which led to me doing more bad things. It was a cycle that had devastating effects on both me and all the people around me. But I just couldn’t stop. I had countless near-death experiences and was at a point where I didn’t really care if I lived or died.
Then an opportunity came up in the USA. I got a job working in two state theatres as a stage manager before returning to the UK to take up a position as stage manager on a theatre tour for Ragdoll Television. This was then followed by three years at the Discovery Channel. In life there are many ups and downs and you can not be defined by the bad stuff that happens to you. Sometimes you have to just pick your self up, dust your self down and carry on but make sure you come back stronger and have learnt from it.
Many people ask how I have been able to overcome these inner demons and it does take a resilient soul to be able to see all these life challenges as just that, challenges. Once we get out of victim hood we can find inner strength for any challenge that comes our way.
The first step is understanding how this system works and why we believe what we do about ourselves and the world. I now like to work in a multifaceted approach. I have found that if we can help the body to neutralise these old self sabotaging behaviours, we can then achieve a new existence and we are able to align the Mind, Body and Spirit so it works as one complete beautiful system. It creates a life of purpose, guidance and inner bliss. I’ve now managed through this to realign my life.
Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘Second Chapters’. Can you tell our readers about your career experience before your Second Chapter?
As I mentioned I worked in two state theatres as a stage manager in the US before returning to the UK to take up a position as stage manager on a theatre tour for Ragdoll television and working for the Discovery channel.
Unfortunately, late nights and more bad choices left me mentally exhausted from London life and yet again the self-sabotage started taking me over.
After moving to Greece to get away from another destructive relationship, I started working for an overseas property company where I met my husband Mike on the Island of Samos. After two crazy summers, a car crash and two world trips, I returned to the island broken and ready to commit to Mike who was waiting for me to return, thankfully. We got engaged and married in 2011 just after the death of my blood father.
During the Greek crisis of 2013, me, Mike and our daughter Mary left for the UK to set up a new business in the very trendy street food scene and we became the first Greek street food company in the south of England. We worked tirelessly to become one of the leaders in the industry and attending Glastonbury festival and Street Food Awards became the norm. But again, I still felt unfulfilled and post Brexit we decided to cash in our chips and head to the sun of Marbella, Spain. This was the beginning of my second chapter.
And how did you “reinvent yourself” in your Second Chapter?
Life changedmonumentally after my spiritual awakening. When you go through something so profound, there is no way you can go back. I began channeling all this information that was guiding me to my true purpose in life.
Everything I have done, everything I have planned, has been a direct download from my higher self, spirit or guides, however you want to look at it. All of them telling me it was time to step into my true power, to find my voice and begin a life of service to others.
After finishing my Professional Hypnotherapy Diploma and the myriad of other wellness certificates I had undertaken, I understood so clearly how I was called to help people.
I felt compelled to reach out to the very people I had shared empty evenings with all those years ago in London, the people who I understood more than anyone. The celebrities and the high achievers. I knew what made them feel so utterly alone and that’s when I created Exquisitely Enough. I developed a 6 month 1 to 1 program that went straight to the heart of the matter. With my wellness team we developed the technique of clearing energy centres, identifying all limiting beliefs and helping clients develop a connection with their higher selves for lasting change.
I have even developed my own audio series to help people manifest their deepest desires in the quantum field. It has been a wild ride and one that I’m enjoying immensely.
Along side my private work I am also the co creator of Luxe Club Retreats, a unique bespoke luxury retreat experience for the ultra high net worth market. It is extremely unique and we are very excited to launch it as soon as travel returns to normal. It will be a full mind, body and soul experience which meets true magical opulence in the most beautiful places around the globe.
I feel so blessed to be going into the second half of my life feeling confident, happy and generally excited for the future. Something I just couldn’t have imagined a few years ago.
I even have a book coming out in May 2021 called Sacred Rebel- Women who dare to disrupt and I’ve been invited onto Fox Tv in September 2021. When you change your perspective life just keeps getting better.
Can you tell us about the specific trigger that made you decide that you were going to “take the plunge” and make your huge transition?
Whilst I was at home in Marbella the moment of realization came when I spoke to my brother, who told me that Martin, my stepdad had been diagnosed with a rare blood disorder. And that the prognosis was not good. He only had a few hours left. I made the heart wrenching journey back from Malaga, to Barcelona and then on to Bristol and drove through the night to Plymouth to be by my father’s bedside. Luckily, he held on until I arrived and died peacefully two hours later. Together with my family we watched him slowly fade away. As I mentioned this confrontation with death and the reality of that one moment between life and death can be profound on the soul.
My heart broke into a thousand pieces. I realized that my stepfather had been the only constant male influence in my life. He had loved me no matter what and had always been there for me. His death felt like it was the final abandonment. I was broken. I then had a nervous breakdown which led to my 4 day hotel stay where I reached deep inside and connected to my spiritual side and the rest is history. It was something born out of extreme pain, but sometimes we can only reach new heights when we truly lose everything. Its a powerful place to be when you can’t get any lower.
What did you do to discover that you had a new skillset inside of you that you haven’t been maximizing? How did you find that and how did you ultimately overcome the barriers to help manifest those powers?
It all came about very intuitively and naturally. There wasn’t an aha moment just first a desire to help free myself from pain. Once I started to see how and why we build up these belief systems, I started to realize this was something I could get passionate about.
I had always been someone who people gravitated too, even when I just wanted to be alone, and people would also say I was wise beyond my years so it seemed like a natural progression to use that wise nature and combine it with ground breaking techniques to inspire change in others.
As I said before I’m a person who smashes down barriers so for me that part was easy. I will always find a way to do anything, only now I use my power for good.
How are things going with this new initiative? We would love to hear some specific examples or stories.
So I have been training in Transformational Hypnosis, Energy Chakra healing, Quantum Hypnosis and have become fascinated with Quantum physics and its power to manifest our deepest desires with the power of our thoughts. I also tuned into the power of accepting new ideas and beliefs and moved to a more forward-thinking existence, having realised it was possible to create permanent shifts rather than just reactive ones when the going gets tough. I’ve now embraced a method of being able to live just a day at a time, with no past or future worries and it’s deeply powerful. I love it.
Through my business Exquisitely Enough, ™ I work as a Transformational Hypnotherapist and Soul Connector with female high achieving business owners and people in the public eye who have incredible drive but find self-sabotaging and limiting beliefs holding them back in all areas of life. They may feel tired, lost, burnt out, out of control, disconnected and suffer from negative habits, anxiety, not feeling good enough, being scared to make the money they want, and find they are attracting bad relationships. They quite likely have tried therapy and personal development before but felt it’s just like a sticky plaster and they are not really connected closely enough to themselves to make long term change. Many are desperate to understand deeper energies but struggle to get their mindset in the right state through lack of self-confidence.
The program is almost ready and I can’t wait to release it into the world. I have also been working directly with some people in the public eye and high level business owners to get them to a place of acceptance and bliss in their lives.
So far what I am creating is being received very well and I think now is the time people are wanting to go with in and start to fix the problems that have had in there lives until now.
I am also in the process of launching with Wellness Transformation Coach, Natalia Edelmann, Luxe Club Retreats in Marbella which will be designing exclusive retreats for high net worth and celebrity clients. We want to bring together elements of Whole-body Wellness, Deep transformational Hypnosis, Spiritual Alignment and Feng Shui. Natalia and I are sourcing amazing mansions to host these retreats in the beautiful Andalusia area and the rest of the world afterwards. It will be currently working on an application/invite only basis but we look forward to expanding the brand in the coming months when travel restrictions lift.
Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story about that?
Two people really. I am so lucky to have Michail by my side. He waited for me after I went crazy for a couple of summers, had a bad car crash and made two trips around the world. Mary is my daughter. If it weren’t for her, I don’t think I could have escaped the merry-go-round of addiction. I did it for myself but also for her. She is everything to me.
Can you share the most interesting story that happened to you since you started in this new direction?
I think synchronicity comes to mind. The amount of unusual connections I have been making, the shared interest and stories are incredible. When you truly tune in and focus on your desires the universe opens and makes space for you to be able to receive everything you need to make it happen.
One of the most bizarre ones recently was being on a training call with my spiritual coach, I happened to mention how I’d love to work with Jonny Depp. At that moment another person offered me his managers contact details, so I gratefully accepted and I have it firmly in my sites that I will reach out when the time is right to offer him something and see if I can help.
Always keep watching for the signs, take the actions and the rest will follow.
Did you ever struggle with believing in yourself? If so, how did you overcome that limiting belief about yourself? Can you share a story or example?
Yes for the last 40 years, No one ever believes in themselves at every minute of every day. However, my studies have changed my mind about a lot of basic life principles. I love the idea of the law of attraction but it misses some key aspects which we explore in detail and through my groundbreaking Quantum Hypnosis audio series they can access the Zero Point Energy Field, where absolutely anything is possible and new realities can be written into our lives. No person is defined by how they have acted in the past or the present. We can be in charge of our life path simply by switching our thoughts and our habits and learning to rewrite our story. Everyone can learn how to become soul connectors and with the support and guidance of the team at Exquisitely Enough™ you have the chance to start a new chapter. This is my new mantra and I practice it every day.
In my own work I usually encourage my clients to ask for support before they embark on something new. How did you create your support system before you moved to your new chapter?
I didn’t have a support system or at least one that I was tapped into. I tried to run my life my way which completely failed. Now I can empathise with my clients when they reach their tipping point. When they are crying out for help, all they just want is for someone to pick them up and fix them and basically just tell them what to do. I myself know, that you want to be wrapped in a big blanket and told that everything is going to be alright. You want to feel validated and comforted, nurtured and loved. You want pain relief instantly and to be shown a better way.
What they actually need though is to be guided in their own self-discovery. To empower them to move forward with absolute conviction. They need to know that they do have the power to transform their lives, ask for guidance, receive answers and feel unshakable in the knowledge that they are Exquisitely Enough™, they always have been and they always will be in this world and beyond. They must realise the power lies within them and that if they learn the tools to access it they have the only support system that they will ever need.
Starting a new chapter usually means getting out of your comfort zone, how did you do that? Can you share a story or example of that?
Everything is energy and we must first understand how to reset that I’ve always believed deep down that anything is possible, it just didn’t always transmit to a positive outcome. In my days of addiction, it translated to always finding a way to get more drugs or drink. However nowadays, it gives me an unwavering conviction that if I can think it, I can achieve it, even if it can be really scary at times. I never liked it when people put limitations in my way, I would try harder to smash them down.
I understand now that without the conditioning beliefs that I have carried with me for most of my life, I had an unstoppable power. I would manifest all the situations I needed but unfortunately sabotage them at the last moment as I was fearful of failing and letting everybody and myself down. This is an issue I believe most of us have and that if we were able to control those fears, to acknowledge them, understand them, thank them and resolve them, we can become an unstoppable force.
I also believe that to only focus on one aspect is really just a sticking plaster and that it is easy to fall back into old cycles when you are not expecting it. So, we have to set up a system of checks and balances. It’s a constant work out, much like going to the gym, we have to train our conscious and unconscious minds to work as one.
Everything is energy so we can begin to work on the more psychological parts of ourselves. Once we can make sure that we are running on a smooth energetic level we can start to look within to find the events and circumstances that have formed our current belief system. Using the power of transformational and quantum hypnosis we can access parts of ourselves we believed forgotten or irrelevant to our life’s journey. If we can accept these events and let go of them, we can start to allow our belief system to be updated and reprogrammed. The third element is often missed and I believe to be a key component in lasting transformation. Though training our mind we are able to access our higher power at a soul level but it is this connection to source energy that will give you the answers of how to move you onto a path of purpose and inner bliss. Once we can learn to tap into this through quantum energy then we never feel alone, we always have people to guide us in our choices and allow us to finally speak our truth and manifest what we truly desire in our lives and this time be able to receive it graciously. You don’t need to seek spiritual signs and answers from others, everything you need is right within you.
I have lived through my own lifetime of pain but through this very methodical method I finally have been able to step into my purpose and coach others to do the same.
Fantastic. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “5 things I wish someone told me before I started leading my organization” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
1.) Just do It — Get out of your own way and just do it. If you spend months thinking about it, it will never transpire. Whats the worst that can happen? I have had many business ideas that didn’t pan out and I just got on and started again but there were also many opportunities I missed due to fear. Only you hold yourself back from your hopes and dreams so find something you love, research and get your self out there. All the rest will fall into place.
2.) Trust You’re intuition — My whole business has been built on honing my intuition and it’s something most entrepreneurs or business people struggle with. Second guessing every small detail. For years I struggled in this area and it has held me back from taking action in the past, just because I didn’t trust myself or that someone had my back. Now I’m led by my higher power, I see everything much more clearly. So trust yourself, listen to what your higher power is telling you and you can’t go far wrong..
3.) Take imperfect action — Perfectionism was something that tripped me up constantly. I would take so long getting everything perfect that quite often the momentum would go and the business would just grind to a halt. Just get your product or business out there. You can worry about the rest later. It’s a form of not feeling good enough, so we only want to to show our best side but that doesn’t always equate with sales. It’s better to show up and be authentic than spend months creating a website that looks flashy but no one knows you.
4.) Enjoy the Journey — This is your business and it’s important that it should light you up and not really feel like work at all. I have done countless jobs that I have hated and set up businesses that just felt so depressing. You are the master of your journey, so choose a business that you feel great about. Running a business takes commitment but if you enjoy what you do then its never really work.
5.) Everything is Balance — Make sure that you create a work, life balance and stick to it. You won’t be popular if you build this amazing business but your family and friends never see you.This is an area I still struggle with, just because I love what I do, so I find it hard to shut off but remember why you’re doing it and make sure you build in down time. This is a job for life so make sure you have a life as well. Your soul will thank you for it.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
I would love to show the world what I have discovered. Everyone has the ability to change their situation through the power of their mind. If they can learn that ultimately they are good enough and can do anything, then their whole perspective shifts. They can begin to connect to a higher self in order to do this. It’s not saved for a few privileged few. It can be learned. If more people started to live more positively like this, the world would be a happier place.
It doesn’t need to be difficult and it doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s a willingness to change, to take actions and the rewards are huge.
We are very blessed that some very prominent names in Business, VC funding, Sports, and Entertainment read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this if we tag them. 🙂
This is a tough question. I have to say that it’s a toss-up between Oprah Winfrey and Jonny Depp. Oprah has a beautiful, good heart and not forgetting, an incredible mindset. She always demonstrates the power to triumph over adversity, which I really admire and identify with. As for the Jonny, I connect with his dark soul. That was me for so many years, I’d love to work with him and help him see what a beautiful person he is and bring some balance back to his life. Watch this space on that one.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Club House- @ruthpetralifi