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Resilience: How Do We Find It in an Environment of Fear, Doubt and Pain?

Maintain a deliberate mindset for extraordinary results.

I have heard it said that Fear and Doubt kill more dreams than terrorism or disease combined.

Fear, doubt and pain are emotions that are typically unwelcome guests at the dinner table.

When we feel engulfed in fear, doubt and pain, we often feel paralyzed — preferring to hide under the covers rather than face these monsters that so powerfully seem at times to grip our hearts and our minds.

“Fear is not real. It is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.” — Will Smith

And yet, some might argue that although Fear may not “be” real, it most definitely “feels” real.

And when we are in the midst of great trauma, obstacles, uncertainty and crisis, how on Earth do we find a way to act in spite of this Fear? In spite of the Doubt? In spite of the Pain?

From deep within the throes of the whirlwind, this might seem quite impossible.

And yet….

Does the glimmer of hope lie in the reality that what might be my fear is not always your fear?

If fear is Truth / “Reality”, wouldn’t my fear be a fear of all others?

And yet, it doesn’t work that way.

There are those who have a fear of heights while others climb the highest peaks.

There are those who suffer great anxiety in closed spaces while others find great pleasure in descending into the depths of a cramped cave.

Cus D’Amato, the manager for Mike Tyson, even claimed that Fear can be harnessed — that Fear can be your friend.

When the phone rang in the middle of the afternoon on that fateful Friday in February 2016, when I learned that my daughter had been struck by a boulder and was not expected to survive, I promise you: Fear was not my friend.

My mind felt the deluge of a perfect storm of negative emotions — and Fear, Doubt, and Pain lead the rampage.

And yet….

Maybe even worse than the feelings of Fear, Doubt and Pain are the feelings associated with complacency.

Maybe even worse than feeling like you “can’t” is the feeling that you won’t even try.

Maybe even worse than what lies on the other side of these emotions is what will remain if decide to simply stay still.

Could there be a divine beauty in the fear, the doubt, the uncertainty and pain?

Could it be that we would stand in sameness without change and expansion and discovery… were it not for this Fear, Doubt and Pain that pushes us forward?

Can Fear, Doubt and Pain become the unexpected champions along our path?

Can they become the catalyst to brilliant change?

Can they and they alone at times push us to the point where the only plausible option is to dare to believe in the (yes) “impossible”?

As I sat in that dark plane at 30,000 feet zooming toward the land where my daughter fought for her life, it was Fear, Doubt and Pain that taught me some of the most powerfully profound lessons of my life.

It was Fear, Doubt and Pain who became the champions to finding my Greatness.

In their embrace, i began to see that this formidably powerful boulder hadn’t come into our lives as a lesson on how to face death.

This devastatingly powerful boulder had come into our lives to teach us how to mightily live.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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