Community//

Relationship Reset

The definition of a reset is to set again or differently. To start over again or to adjust.

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Stan and Tarsha are 23 years married with two children. A Relationship Reset is not foreign for them, in fact this is what they say about their union, " it is our mission to be a part of shining a light on how much fun marriage and committed relationships can actually be when you put in the effort."
Stan and Tarsha are 23 years married with two children. A Relationship Reset is not foreign for them, in fact this is what they say about their union, " it is our mission to be a part of shining a light on how much fun marriage and committed relationships can actually be when you put in the effort."

Hitting a reset button clears away what’s already there. We mostly refer to resetting about our WiFi, phones, or computers. When those get reset, they go back to their basic settings. I love the word ‘reset’ because the definition allows for adjusting, not just going back. 

The Experience of Love Disappears in The Daily Grind

Finding ways to step outside of our routines is vital. Often when we are too close or too far from situations, we miss the opportunity for the lessons. Like art, up close, you can see the beauty of the strokes and the mixture of color and texture. Too far away,  you can miss the message, or it can all be a blur. Adjusting your distance adjusts your view, and you can see what you couldn’t. When you see things more clearly in your relationship, your actions are less reactive and more consistent with your commitments.

This is a Practice Worth its Weight in Gold

When you get outside your routine and get freed up, it is easier to see the big picture of your life. When looking at the big picture, it is incredibly useful for partners to reconsider why they are in the relationship. That is what the reset is all about. Getting back to why it all matters and why you want to get back that loving feeling. Sometimes, before a reset, it seems hard to imagine feeling full of love again. It might even seem impossible.

How Do You Reset?

There is a systematic approach to the couples reset. Working on your relationship is like going to the gym, you don’t want to go but feel so good after you do. Then you can’t wait to tell everybody you did it.

The reset can SPARK the Love Hormones and serve up some Love Cocktails in unexpected ways. Getting some time for yourself, not necessarily alone, but away from the norm is how to start. If money is an issue, here is an idea – house trading. This idea is fresh and might work for you. Here is how it goes:

  1. Coordinate with a friend or family member (close by or far away depending on your budget)
  2. Trade houses for the weekend (or any three days)

What About The Kids

Grandpa time! Let your parents or siblings in on the reset. Most grandparents, Aunts, and Uncles would enjoy having your kids for a few days on their own, especially if planned far enough in advance.

Other Options You Might Consider –

If time alone is what you need:

~a hot bubble bath

~meditation (click the hyperlink for a page full of them)

~an afternoon nap

~perhaps reading a book

~you could even take a car ride by yourself  

If relaxation is what you need:

~do a jigsaw puzzle

~play a game

~go on an all guy’s weekend

~go on an all girl’s getaway

~prepare a new recipe
~ or a massage could be the answer (Your partner, even if not an expert, could be your massage therapist)

When you have given yourself a little distance from the routine, that is when the magic can happen. Getting far enough away from anything makes it easier to manage.

The best relationships are not by luck, accident, or fate. They exist because those in them want to be in them. Resetting and adjusting can bring you back to having your relationship work.

Enjoy!

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