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# Reflections by Ray – # Real Happiness

What is Real Happiness? Is this just a surge of ‘pleasant’ emotions like contentment, pleasure, joy, enthusiasm ...

Been wanting to write for some time now…but didn’t know I could…

Am being stirred by feelings of real happiness and so I reflected…

What is Real Happiness?

Is this just a surge of ‘pleasant’ emotions like contentment, pleasure, joy, enthusiasm and delight? Or is it something much deeper than that… Why did I suddenly feel the world was a better place… that I could soar above the skies, that I could recover from my health conditions and could achieve all my dreams and ambitions?

I had always thought I could be happy seeing my loved ones happy, putting others ahead of myself, fighting reality and tolerating bad relationships. That I could immerse myself in my work and be satisfied in my success…

I tried to choose Happiness as some gurus recommend, but never felt truly happy. Made me question… is happiness a choice you make or something you gain based on your choices?

What changed it all? I was lucky to find a soulmate…

You might be helped by someone significant in your life, a total stranger or God forbid a terrible situation or event that hits you really hard. Don’t be afraid when that happens. Take it as a gift, a chance, an opportunity to really experience something beautiful that cannot be even put into words.

So how do you start… let me share my 3 steps… and these are not consecutive, they should be done simultaneously for the best outcome.

1.Shake up your daily routine

Look at yourself and write down the few things that drain you and make you feel low. It could be your weight, a toxic relationship, work overload, a nagging boss, endless housework… whatever, jot them down.

Put a few action points against each of them (it’s great if you can have someone with you to motivate you like I did and to pull you back when you lose track) but you need to commit to it.

Know that writing things down won’t make them happen unless you do something about it and most often you will need to make a change in your lifestyle. Just remember, nothing matters more than you today or any day. Don’t put it off for another day. Fit all your other priorities around YOUR plan.

2. Take care of your inner being and your relationships

There’s a lot of advice out there on how to take care of your inner being; be it from yoga to meditation, religion and prayer. Find what works for you.

It could be being motivated by an inspirational person. It could be through watching wonderful movies, listening to music, or reading a great book. Make time for them no matter what.

Take a look at the people in your life and identify those who really care or you care about. Nurture those relationships that really matter. Your spirit should always feel joyful and refreshed after interaction with them and wanting more.

3. Find your bigger purpose/ nurture your dream

We are all here on this earth for a short while and as Martin Luther King once said “What matters is how you live, and not how long you live”.

Find your bigger purpose. It might be writing a book, doing charity work, presenting on the worldwide stage, joining the UN, whatever…We all want to matter and to make a difference in the world, at work, or in someone else’s life.

Real happiness is achieved only when we can find deep meaning and fulfillment in our lives by contributing to someone or something that is bigger than ourselves.

Chase your dreams… nothing can stand in your way if you set your mind to it… find your passion and run after it. Balance your mundane life with a fair ounce of doing what you really want to do… if you have the luxury of chucking everything and following your passion, by no means go for it.

Start now. Reflect on your life today.

Ray.

Originally published at www.linkedin.com

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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