Redefining Normalcy

When life gets out of control, it's up to you to nudge it toward a new normal

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You don’t drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there. ~Unknown

How does this list of people, places, and things influence your life?

• Parents & their needs and health
• Adult children & their drama
• Grandchildren—no drama here (unless they’re teens), but lots of grandparenting opportunities
• A spouse/partner & their needs
• Everyday living—home, vehicles, tech & computers, bills, pets, maintenance and those little extras that pop up at the worst time (is there ever a good time for these situations?)
• Business & career needs—the time dedicated to business competes with the demands from everything else.
• Self-care—do you forgo this to accomplish other tasks on your list?

I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent. Caring for myself is an act of survival. ~Audre Lorde

Much of 2016 became a jumble of madness with all these issues demanding my time and attention. I was hopping from one situation to another while attempting to balance self-care and business.

With all this activity, me time became a RARE occurrence. Even with a home office, it was too easy for someone to knock on the door to request my attention. I had investigated several co-working spaces, but the cost and the commute were counter-productive. Plus, a co-working community had too much buzz for my solitary preferences.

A change was needed, and it wouldn’t be easy. Inspired by my good friend Margaret Pettis, I heeded her semi-serious advice: get your own apartment!

After some in-depth self-examination, including lifestyle and finances, this was the best solution. Although it may upset those who love me, I would gain the space I needed for personal well-being and business focus.

Within a matter of weeks, I had moved into my new home and office space. During this transition, I re-established a new schedule. New boundaries were formed and discussed with loved ones. With input from my assistant, Lisa Smelcer of Virtual Admin Experts, we created a schedule that kept me on target and tips to tame the internal and external productivity vultures. This list is now pinned it to my office wall.

In one month’s time, here are the early benefits of redefined normalcy:

Scheduling: The family has a schedule of my work day availability. I respond to their needs during a specific time or they must wait until after hours. (Tough for me as well as them!)

Productivity: With Lisa’s help, 9am-10am has transitioned from email putzing to social media production and interaction time.

A weight off my shoulders: My partner relies on me for a great deal of little tasks and I feared for his well-being. When I told him my plans, he said, “This will be good for us both; you’ll gain what you need for your personal and business growth and I’ll get a better idea of my limitations without calling on you for help.”

Self-care: I’m less edgy and feel more relaxed as I settle into re-established business activities. Instead of fitting in business around everyone’s needs, I’m moving forward rather than barely keeping up with projects and growth.

Is there too much chaos in your life? Has your normal gotten out of control? If so, this may be the time to redefine your normal.

Kristen Edens
A grandparent in business
Making Midlife Better!

Originally published at

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