Wisdom//

The #1 Reason You May Have Lost Confidence

Use this method to jump start your confidence and circumvent your fears.

fizkes / Shutterstock
fizkes / Shutterstock

Do you have a one thing?

I am sure you do.

That one thing, goal, relationship, dream that if you could just grab hold of it, life would really shift and fall into place for you. You probably know what your one thing is, and yet every time you get up close and personal with it, it seems to vanish or move just a bit further away from you.

Sometimes, you may even wonder if your one thing could ever be a real thing. Perhaps it is simply a bucket list item that is stuck in the bucket waiting for you to have enough time, resources, or guts to take action on it.

Sound familiar?

The real reason you haven’t experienced your one thing yet is because a thief got to it first.

That thief is you.

The #1 reason that you have not done, experienced, or conquered your goal or dream is that it lives in the unknown and that scares you. Fear lives there as well, and when fear creeps into your life – and it will for everyone – it brings with it a series of excuses and limitations. What it steals from you is your confidence and your belief in yourself. Fear blurs success.

Find that fear and you can stop stealing from yourself. Disrupt the story you’ve been telling yourself and guess what? You get to write a new story that aligns. A story that includes actually embracing not only your one thing, but also multiple things that matter to you. Identify and bypass your fears and you can learn to fear less and do more.

Is it time to grab your confidence back? Is it time to stop your thief and generate a small step toward something new? Think about what would be different in your life if you did that right now. Imagine what would be possible if you believed it was. Every action taken is one that brings you closer to believing in yourself.

Build confidence here.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper and detail the following:

  • List three goals or dreams.
  • Circle the statement and action step that is top-of-mind, especially in regard to your one thing/biggest goal.
  • Now imagine the worst-case-scenario. What are the excuses that come up for you in regard to those goals and action steps? What is the absolute worst that could happen? Write that down in a short paragraph.
  • Can you identify the fear that is showing up for you? Call it out by name!

Next, walk over to the nearest mirror and read out loud what you just wrote. Start with your goals, stating your #1 goal boldly. State it as if you have already accomplished it. Read it again.

  • Read aloud any action steps that support that goal.
  • Then read your worst-case scenario out loud to yourself slowly. Really listen to what you are saying, not to hear, but to understand. The magic is right there. Is there truth in what you are saying? Can you poke holes in this narrative? If you can, what shifts?
  • Once you have read this page out loud, shred it or cut it up and throw it away.

On a new piece of paper, detail the following:

  • Write down three goals that you are setting for yourself. They can be the same as in the exercise above. Pay close attention to your primary goal. Gaining clarity on this vision is a key component in empowering it from your head and your heart, uninterrupted and in-motion.
  • Write down three commitments you are willing to make to achieve those intentions and to actually take action and take the plunge, fear or no fear. Again, make note of your primary goal.
  • Circle the intention and commitment that is top-of-mind.
  • Now imagine your many successes in regard to the intentions and commitments you wrote down, especially your top pick. Picture yourself achieving your one thing. What does it feel like to have mastered your goals and action steps? What does this allow you to do next? What are the outcomes? If you believe this is possible, what shifts? Write it all down in a short paragraph, including an accurate success statement.
  • Next, at your mirror once again, read out loud your intentions, your commitments, and your success statement. Really hear your words. Take them in. What can you activate this week?
  • Keep this list in a place where you can access it and update it easily. Once a month, check back in with it. What did you manifest? Did you get closer to or master your one thing? Did your intention and your commitment to it align? Reset for your next confidence booster.

Did you catch your thief? Now use and reuse this method to jump start your confidence and circumvent your fears.

Originally published on Ellevate.

Follow us here and subscribe here for all the latest news on how you can keep Thriving.

Stay up to date or catch-up on all our podcasts with Arianna Huffington here.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

Silence Your Inner Critic. The Secret To Lifelong Confidence.

by Tina Cantrill
Community//

Why We Self-Sabotage Our Dreams and How to Stop…

by Jade Neuwirth
Community//

How To Define and Commit to Big Scary Goals

by Gayle Hilgendorff

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.