Maturity, that’s a word we hear so often. It’s part of the “growing up” factor, that we are met with, when we reach adulthood. There are responsibilities, which come with that word. How we handle ourselves. How we respond to certain people! How we deal with our emotions. How we bring solutions to the table! All of which address the definition of. . .maturity.
However, the more we examine this very concept, it appears that “maturity” is based on adults becoming human robots. In these modern times, to be a “mature” person translates into BEING. . .the Bigger person. Its a nice way of saying that you should tolerate people’s manipulation, and overall B.S. Not a very fair, or healthy, concept if you are one of those people who likes to live your life. . .drama free.
It’s a given that the terms, mature or maturity, have been co-opted by manipulators and those power addicts, who like to rule over others. I think it’s high time that we re-examine the meaning of the term. . .mature. Because the truth of the matter is that it is more than about growing up, entering the phase of adulthood, and the monetary responsibilities coming with it. It also means that you have gone through the tedious process of learning to accept who you are. Translation: Every feeling which enters your energy realm is embraced, honored, and recognized. Let’s explore that a little further.
As we delve closer into our own personal identity, and willingness to be, self, it’s a given that we are never in a one-dimensional, emotional state. Which means our emotions change, and we should not prevent them from doing so. If you are sad, be SAD. When you are angry, be ANGRY. During one of your joyful periods, celebrate in the realm of. . .HAPPINESS. It sounds pretty simple, right. Most mature ADULTS should understand this very concept. Unfortunately, today’s performance of maturity does not promote this. If an office colleague disrespects you, it’s expected that you be the bigger person, and “ignore it.” When a stranger, or even top management, intrudes upon, or violates, personal boundaries, you better just “bite your tongue.” When you are super excited about a new film, or gift you have just received, instead of jumping up and down like a small kid on the playground, you are expected to give a nice smile and, wait for it, be mature. Crying over a recent failure at work, or recent frustrations arising in one’s personal life? Suck it up and be a big boy or big girl. That’s how things are meant to be, once you have. . .matured. And then, especially for women, if another woman (or group of women) publicly crosses boundaries with our romantic partners, husbands, fiances, boyfriends or what not, we are reminded that its___________________________________. Fill in the blank. *Not the time or the place.* Because, after all, a mature woman or man is to address things, properly. Right? Right.
I think it’s time that we delve a little closer in understanding the meaning of the word, mature, and the process of maturing. Which means, that will take a look back into our handy, dandy. . .dictionary.
Wait one second. Don’t worry this won’t take too long. Ok. *Flip, Flip. Looking through Merriam-Webster online. Voila.*
Alright. So, here we go. According to our beloved Merriam-Webster, mature is defined as the following:
- based on careful consideration
- A (1): having completed natural growth and development
- of or relating to a condition of full development
So, pretty much our definition of mature or maturity is founded on biological processes. There was no Book Of Maturity, which mandates that you act a certain way towards a situation, at least not, yet. What we do have is our emotions, and our emotions are backed my energies. In fact, our emotions perform out those energies, entering into our ENERGY sector. Whether they are positive or negative. And, the natural and developed thing to do is to use communication to address whatever energy has entered into your energy sphere. Whether it is welcomed or not!
A developed, and mature adult addresses whatever energy addresses them. . .head on. They are direct, and they showcase the naturalness of a reaction. It is timely and there are no delays. For example, a colleague, family member, stranger, boss, or what have you, wants to undermine and disrespect you. . .you address it right there. You let them know right then, that their nonsense and belittlement is not to be tolerated. You receive a love letter from a secret admirer. . .smile, hold yourself, and let your heart. . .melt.
Ladies, and Gents, if a disrespectful woman or man decides they want to try and flirt with your man or woman in front of you (or behind you), don’t suppress your anger. Don’t worry what people around you think or say! If they are “offended” or “demonize” you for doing the mature thing, of protecting your relationship, it’s because they are jealous of you, and silently encourage that behavior because they want to be disrespectful and break up your coupling. And, lastly, if ever someone hurts your feelings. . .cry. Forget the old adage of. . .never let them see you sweat. For in releasing the toxins, directed your way, you are triumphing over them. Crying is not an “immature” act. It’s natural! Even children know this to be true. They make think that they won. In reality, you have shown them just how weak their toxins are.
Doesn’t it feel great to know that the real definition of “mature” and “maturity” is not removed from our emotional capabilities? In fact, it warrants them. A mature adult is deeply in tuned with their feelings. They recognize them. Articulate them. And. . .act upon them. Of course, in a healthy way. That is the authentic lens of maturity. Expressing what’s good, what’s bad, and the very sad.
If you really want to see a performance of immaturity, watch the behavior of sneaky and power-obsessed individuals. They don’t have the maturity to be honest with themselves, their needs, desires, or griefs. So, they try to push others to do the same thing. Their behaviors are often done publicly, or in situations where they know they have “power over” you-due to their position. They’ll make sarcastic, irritating, or demeaning comments in front of fellow colleagues (or other authority members), and expect you not to say anything. To men and women in romantic relationships, emotional manipulators will say lewd comments (or flirt with your partner) to your spouse or mate-with expectations that you don’t react because you don’t want to “make a scene,” or are worried about how other people will perceive you, should you do the mature thing and defend your relationship. When you get that special love letter, or learn that you have won a vacation getaway, immature people will report you to management, or recommend that you have time off because they don’t feel you should present a state of happiness.
Also, I think we have done the mature thing, and re-defined maturity. Let’s take notes from children and express our emotions in healthy ways. After all, it’s only immature, if we don’t.;)