Wisdom//

20 Questions to Tune Your Relationship Compass

Guidance to calibrate.

Fouque/Getty Images
Fouque/Getty Images

By Beth Derrick 

If you’re finding yourself single, or unhappy in your current relationship, consider exploring the below questions to develop a holistic view of where you are, and what you want. Knowing what you do not want is just as important as knowing what you do want. Knowing your boundaries, fears, goals, dreams, beliefs and non-negotiables in relationships are crucial pieces to foundational happiness. These 20 questions are ones developed during several therapy sessions and have proven to be very developmentally foundational in my growth and journey to finding my true love, and my now fiancé. I wish you the best in your journey, finding yours.

1. What do I want and need in a relationship?

2. What do I bring to relationships?

3. What are red flags?

4. What are green flags?

5. What are your non-negotiables?

6. What are your boundaries?

7. What are your fears?

8. What are the things/events/experiences you want to share?

9. What are your short-term, intermediate and long term goals, habits and plans?

10. What type of lifestyle do you have? Do you want?

11. What do you find attractive and unattractive in a partner?

12. What’d does your most perfect day look like? (This is also a beautiful Law of Attraction manifesting exercise to write out for periods ahead in the future = 3 months from now, 6 months from now, a year from now, etc.)

13. What are your core beliefs? Are these open to change when challenged?

14. How often and important are dates to you in relationships?

15. Do you prefer to plan or spontane dates yourself and be in charge, or is it a shared honor between you and your partner?

16. What is love? How is it felt by you? How is it communicated from you?

17. What are important things and stories to know about each other?

18. How important is time with friends and family? Do you see them frequently or only during holidays?

19. What are your priorities in life and in relationships?

20. What is intimacy and how important is physical intimacy? What is a desired frequency of it?

As with everything, I prefer to handwrite questions and answers in a journal. It’s a living, breathing document and flows with time as life changes me and I change my life.

Originally published on The Good Men Project.

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