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Pursuing a Fulfilling Life

Mastering the Art of Letting Go

One of the most important lessons I have learned over the years is that some things do not belong in your life. More importantly, the longer you hold on to these things the longer you delay your happiness, joy, and fulfillment. I have had to make some tough choices over the years but I am so grateful for those tough choices. Tough choices have produced great growth and maturity in my life. It is vital that you master the art of letting go.  I am not saying that it will be an easy process; however, it is essential to maintaining your peace and protecting your personal power. These truths will empower you on your journey to let go and live your greatest life.

  • You cannot let go without first addressing your paradigm. If you have followed my work over the years, then you know that I have spoken at length about the power of the mind. I have even written books about the mind and transforming the way you think. Many people see my life today and assume that success and breakthroughs were overnight for me. However, they do not see the years of development and reprogramming my mind that had to take place. The first thing you have to do in order to let go is to address your paradigm. Your paradigm is your belief system and the foundation upon which you make decisions and govern your life. If your belief system is flawed, then everything that you build will produce cycles of frustration and failure in your life. You must let go of self-limiting beliefs, perceptions, and ideologies that interrupt your growth and delay your development. It is not enough to acknowledge these self-limiting beliefs, but you must have the courage to address self-limiting beliefs and perceptions. You will never tread new territory in your life without the expansion of your mind. 
  • You must have the courage to let go of toxic relationships. Personally, this was just as difficult for me as changing my paradigm. If you are anything like me, you love people and when you love you love hard. So it is challenging when you come to the realization that some relationships no longer serve you and do not have the capacity to go with you into a new season of your life. Over the last three decades, I have found myself challenged when I outgrew relationships in my life. In the beginning, I tried to hold on tight to those relationships because I did not want to lose them. In addition, I was afraid of what my life would look like without some of those relationships. However, as I started to grow and expand I realized that I was not the same. Every season of my life was stretching me and new realms required new relationships. As I look back now, I am so glad that I had the courage to let go of the old in order to embrace the new. I can tell you from experience that change is painful but the reward is priceless. Not everything we let go of results in a loss in our lives. Something greater is always waiting on the other side of your growth and maturity. The dysfunctional relationships I left behind cannot compare to the divinely ordained relationships that I now have in my life. Often we want to hold on to what is familiar but you must be courageous if you want to conquer new frontiers. Honestly, a lot of times we become codependent in our relationships and we cripple our destinies. Be willing to let go of every association that opposes your advancement and ascension. 
  • Letting go will require a moment of awareness in your life. Every major adjustment in your life will necessitate awareness. In other words, no changes happen in our lives without clarity. I remember the day that I realized that I needed to let go. It was the moment when I hit a major road bump in my life and business. I was frustrated, burnt out and I felt so alone. I had spent so much of my life being present for everyone else. However, when I needed those same people to be present for me nobody showed up. It was at that moment that I realized that I had built my life the wrong way. More importantly, I made an agreement with myself that I would never let that happen again. I put boundaries in place, I clearly defined the expectations of the relationships in my life, and I set terms for my relationships moving forward. Often times our relationships become dysfunctional and toxic because we never established clear boundaries. For a long time, I just gave everybody access to my life. It sounded noble at the time but it was foolish. Access should never be granted without trust. Furthermore, if you do not have trust in relationships then you do not have a relationship at all. Trust is something that has to be proven over time. Only after trust is established should you welcome a person into the inner-circle of your life. My moment of awareness was when I realized that I had too many relationships that tolerated me but did not value me. You must have a moment of awareness in order to shift the trajectory of your life. 
  • Letting go is not a one time process. I do not want to give you false information. Do not think that because you let go in one season that you will never have to let go again. Every life cycle will require shifting and shedding. In other words, you must settle the fact that something is always entering and exiting your life. This is not to make you feel bad or depressed. However, it must awaken you to the fact that you are the gatekeeper of your destiny. You control what enters and exits the gates of your life. As you mature and become healthy in your soul, you will find yourself better equipped to make sound decisions, attract meaningful relationships and access new realms. You will discover that life is an ongoing process of letting go. You will have to consistently let go of toxic thoughts, toxic emotions, and toxic relationships. Letting go will require you to stop accommodating the old and make room for the new. When I learned this truth, it shifted everything about my life. I started to celebrate change, embrace transition and expand the possibilities of my life. What I discovered is that nothing that I left behind could compare to the person that I was becoming. So it has become easier to part ways with the old and partner with new possibilities for my life. Your life never expands without exchanges. The tradeoffs I have made over the last three decades have produced an incredible transformation in my life. Letting go is the only way that you will be empowered to keep growing and unleash your capacity for greatness!
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