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Privileged Suckitude

A very lucky person of sufficient means in a crazy time

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Chaos
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

My reality is that my work at home workspace is in the laundry room/pantry/ storage area that is a whopping 7’ x 7’ area. I sit on an aged beyond use “accent” chair, with the accent on discomfort. And use my lap or a stool for my laptop. I have windows YAY, so it is not a closet. But the truth is, my zoom meetings are often punctuated by the sound of the laundry, the barking dog, and my people in the kitchen doing things like moving pans, washing hands, talking, etc. There is nothing Instagram or Ikea or zen about my work life right now.

I’m blessed by luck and know it. I have work, I have family, we’ve been mostly well physically. We’ve had scares and tests and negatives. We’ve survived every single anxiety and panic attack any of us have had.

We’re lucky to have a house with a laundry room. A few years back it would have been a shared washer and dryer for a bunch of apartments or a trip to the laundromat. I am lucky. But I also want to say that this has sucked. Privileged suckiness.

My husband works from a chair in the living room, or on the table we set up in the one true bedroom for remote school work. Our rural location means our fastest internet is slow. And again, this is a privileged suckiness, right?

Here are the things for which I am most grateful. I have health, and love and family. I have work, an income from consulting, that has been maintained. I have not gone crazy. I have doctors who do telemedicine. I have sufficient income to see my doctors. Fill my prescriptions. Buy groceries. Have them delivered.  

But when a question comes, how are you thriving during this time? I first think that I am not thriving. I am withered, craving fresh food, freedom, alone time, and art. I am craving hugs, and laughter and lightness and connection. I want to be able to just get in my car and go. And then I think of everyone out there in the world, alone and wanting company. Not able to buy food. Not able to work. Not able to fill their prescriptions if they have them. Or not able to get them if they need them. And I say to myself Kate, you are thriving just by being a very lucky person of sufficient means in a crazy time.

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