Pretty Chocolate Mess

The Blacker the berry, the tougher the root.

” I don’t want any dark grandbabies.”
That statement and others like it would stick with me for years to come.
I’ve always heard other’s opinions thru many mean and pointed comments about my complexion.
Though the most pointed comments have mostly come from those that ‘look like me.’

That beginning statement came from the grandmother of a young man I was ‘courting’ at the time. She was blunt and did not have a care for my feelings, she only wanted to make it clear when my ‘beau’ introduced me to her, that I would have no place in her bloodline.
It did not matter if I had any integrity, or honesty, or even a good sense of humor.
Only the fact that my melanin-kissed skin offended her ideal for their family’s continued legacy.

So what do you do with comments like that and others like it, when its spewed from
the mouth of a matriarch or even a would be ‘homegirl’?
Well, if you’re me, you internalize it to the innermost parts of your being and analyze
each and every word.
While internalizing you realize there is nothing you can do to change your skin tone or control others’ perceptions about it.
Then you have a choice, you can live your life thru the lens of another’s prejudice,
or you can take that hatred, turn it into fuel and love yourself to the millionth degree.

Guess what I decided to do? I chose the latter. I refuse to allow another’s dim opinion of me based on something God gifted me with to make me feel less of myself.
There is power in my melanin. If that is not true, why does it make so many people mad?
The power I speak of is, its beauty beyond explanation.
Those who would hate or try to verbally discredit the cocoa-toned blessing are so taken-aback that their first reaction is to lash out and attempt to encourage me to be offended by the very thing that is apart of me.
In many instances throughout my life I have given in that ‘chatter’.
But now, I have realized that what is God-given is not appreciated by all and that is okay.

If you find yourself believing the lie, that being anything other than yourself is not enough,
don’t believe the hype.
You are enough. You are beautiful. Allow your ‘chocolate’ to be pretty and anything less than that is not your ‘mess’ to worry about.

Do you have any experiences of colorism?
Leave a comment
Please like ‘Priceless Pretty Blog’ Facebook Page

Originally published at

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...


The Secret to My New Good Year: I’m Fired!

by Bridget Fonger


by Ted W. Baxter

What Happened When I, a Sciencey Skeptic, Got a Medium Reading to Help Manage Grief.

by Elizabeth Entin

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.


We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.