These have been trying times. There is a sense of an overwhelming mental disability when it comes to processing all that is going on around us. I, for instance have had to adapt to working from home, while being a teacher at home for my children, a mother, a wife and a small business entrepreneur. HARD. JUST HARD. I say overwhelming disability because it feels like things are not quite the way they should be, need to be and the way we think God would allow it to be, so much that it blocks our way of thinking through situations rationally. The truth is that everything that is happening is out of our reach, out of our control and even for us that believe in God, that love Jesus and do our best to walk righteously, feel like we are failing constantly and a little hopeless at times. People say to pray. We hear pastors telling us that the answer is to seek God. I, too, say pray and seek God, but what can we do when just don’t know what to say? What to pray about? Did you know that our father here on earth will never compare to our father in heaven? Did you know that no matter how much you love(d) your dad and how much he loves or loved you, it could never compare or even come close to how much God loves you. I sat down today and I felt a bit overwhelmed. I felt tired and I felt a bit defeated. I love all that I do and I love my family, but the enemy throws these darts that come in like waves and they aim right at us, right at me, and it hits like waves. 

CORONA……………….. COVID19…………… What a wave! Not just because of the illness and how much it has affected so many of us, but because of the loneliness, the uncovering of emotions, the downright disrespect in families that were not used to facing the truth of what it is to be together, 24/7. What to do when there are so many emotions that you have to face daily because we are living in this sinful world, plus the extras that the enemy throws our way. For those that do not know who the enemy is, it is the devil. The powerless, anxious, downright inconsistent devil. Your father in heaven knows your thoughts, he understands what you are going through, he knows what’s coming, he knows your past, present and future. He knows the mistakes we’ve made, sins we have committed, yet, he seeks us fervently. While the devil tries to overpower us with thoughts of negativity and while he works hard in our most weakness moments, he will never compare to the power that is Jesus. The power that is God within us. When you don’t know what to say, ask God for the words, when you don’t know how to move next, ask him to be your guide, when you don’t feel that you are deserving of his love, you’re right, we’re not, I’m not, but God sent his only son to die for us because as he loves Jesus, and he also loves us. 

There is too much to capture, too much to work through, but you can always find refuge in the one who loves you above everything. 

I will leave you with this……. Blessed are we to be daughters and sons of the most high. We may not have it all together, and we may not be sure of things, living in crazy uncertainties, but one thing that we can do for certain is ask God for the words. Take some time away to just lay low, give him priority, start your days with him, sit in the quietness and steer away from the noise. Let it just be you and him. When you least expect it, you will realize that you have more to say to him than you ever thought you would. The thing is that your words are not always needed, but your devotion and your daily practice, is. The devil is powerless and I rebuke him in the name of Jesus, but if you don’t arm yourself by reading the word and constantly seeking God any chance you can, he can and will defeat you. He’s trying all the time. He tries to disturb the peace within our hearts, households, children. He doesn’t care, he will use any method, but you have the tools, you have God to help you fight better and stronger than before. 

When you don’t know what to say, go quietly before the Lord and just sit in his presence. Take the time. 

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From your sister and friend,

Neivis Paulino